No One Here Gets Out Alive

Yes. I was a HUGE Doors fan as a kid. As an exchange student in Paris my ONLY mission in life was to visit Jim Morrison's grave. My Tunisian host was confused by this but played along. We made our pilgrimage and it was a life altering event. I may have left roses on his grave. Those words still resonate. No One Here Gets Out Alive. So true. And when Thom and Colin started tweeting that we were all going to die at Gnar Weasels I made peace with it. I am a fairly fatalistic person. I frankly didn't think I would live past 30. How the hell did I get so old? This was never how it was supposed to end up. But, while people were literally losing their minds over the thought of going to race ALL the Gnar. I was secretly getting excited. One. Colin has some weird ass mind control over me. Thom is a close second in this department. Throw in KSweens and Christin and yeah you had me at hello. So I was all in. But I was not so secretly afraid it would either a.) kill my whole team b.) my whole team would quit bike racing after this debacle c.) they would all come looking for me with baseball bats cause I thought this would be "fun" d.) all of the above. Ok before I get too far. All the good photos in this post are by my good friend Russ. Russ WON his race! And did a ton of work on the course and obviously shooting incredible photos. His rad Gnar Weasels gallery is here

But you know what? While HUP will always be a cross racing team first our appetite for dirt is becoming fairy insatiable. We have had some hard knocks. But getting smashed builds character and toughness. And nothing brings a group of people together like adversity. So yeah, lots of people were like FUCKYOUCHIP I am not going to Gnar Weasels and risking death, dismemberment, tooth loss, brain damage, spinal injures or the destruction of my cross season. M'kay. Wow. All I said was hey come and ride some rad trails with us and maybe have a beer or two. I kid. I am a kidder. In reality I was fearful for my own safety and anyone who sucked more than I did. And I was fearful of those who thought they were rad and would do something so rad they would have to be hauled off on a backboard. Yes I blame this on The Ring Of Fire. What the Hell is TROF? It was a sick old school mtn bike race in Northern California. And where Tom Ritchey almost died and did serious damage to his trademark stash. Basically TR got way to gnar and put his face through a tree. That story still haunts me. The race was coined TROF because my good friends who worked at Ibis at the time cleared the course and got the worst case of Poison Oak in all of history. Head to toe. Brutal. It was at the time, for me, the most technical mtn bike race I had ever done. In the words of Igrette from Game of Thrones, I knew nothing. But what it had on top of all that gnar was an amazing party/festival feel. You wanted to be a part of it. Missing out was not an option.

Much has been written throughout history and mythology about fear. Some great quotes. Henry the V comes to mind. Herodotus. Braveheart. Dune. I have used them. All of them. For Best Buddies rides and for Verge races. To motivate you need material. But I won't lie I have lost my mojo a bit. Getting old yada yadah yada. Little flicker of my past self has been haunting me. My old moto of "come home on your shield, or with it" hasn't been resonating so much. 529s. 5 year plans. College. Retirement. It drowns out the siren song of the wolf pack. So I turned to the Bhagavad Gita and Arjuna's tale. Why the Gita? For a race like Gnar Weasels its the only way. You have to go full Zen (I know the Gita is not Zen) . Turn the brain off. Stop judging your "performance" and try to flow. I knew it was going to be a beat down. I did not want to die. One of the stanzas that has always resonated with me is "..if you refuse the call to a righteous war, and shrink from what honor and duty dictate, you will bring down ruin on your head. Decent men, for all time, will talk or your disgrace; and disgrace, for a man of honor, is a fate worse than death" I blame a lot of this on comics. Obviously. But you get where this going. Sure Thom did his best "reverse marketing" approach on all his social media channels warning us we would all die. It had the desired effect. Those not comfortable with "dying" stayed home. Those who were ok with it showed up to party.

And it was a party. I have no idea what hold Thom and Colin have over me. They may have planted a chip in my head or something years ago. But they get me going. They could do a Lawn Darts Weasels and I would show up with fricking body paint ready to GO! I some how lured a A-Team of HUP/Stampede/Shred Bettys/ GPM to attend this here soon to be Classic Mtn Bike race in the NE. To most of us on the eastern seaboard the pinnacle of mtn bike race promotion comes from Dark Horse cycles. They just know how to do it. Great courses, great crew, beer, fun, equal parts party, equal parts bike race. Gnar Weasels was all of that. They (Weasels Productions) have set the bar pretty high. Is it at SSPalooza level? No. But for their first effort its pretty damn close. Beer Marshals, Taco Truck, Low key atmosphere, 100% Gnar. I LOVE a race that rewards the racers who have actual skill over watts. This may seem counterintuitive as I have zero skills. In fact I suck. Have I mentioned my epic crash on the warm up? Um yeah. So we go out to pre-ride. I am cruising along feeling good about myself. I see a nice boulder. SWEET! I rail up it. I get to the top and run out of momentum. Have I mentioned it rained the entire am? Yeah so I push down the pedals and my rear wheel spins out. I start falling backwards. I clip out and put my feet down. And like a cat on ice I start trying to get some traction to arrest my fall. Did I mention I still had my toe spikes in my dragons? Metal toe spikes do NOT interact well with wet rocks. So I do the only thing I can do I got flat and superman down the boulder. The shame burnt a lot more than the flesh that had been ripped off my forearms.

So after that I am obviously freaking out. Shit. How could I crash on that? Brian McInnis sees me on the way to the start grid and gives my tires the Medford Handshake. We take a BUNCH of air out. Oops. I get to the start line and everyone is nervous. Kittenbat has my 29er Zank SS. Her old bike is a bit of a disaster. Gnar requires suspension and tubeless tires and actual brakes that work. But yeah, as much as I knew this bike was going to change Leah's life I was nervous. The good news is she and I are like the Wonder Twins of bikes. Somehow our fit and style on a bike is a cookie cutter of each other. I knew she would shred on the Zank. But we talked a bit on the line. Then I heard the call up to my group and had to go. At the start grid I bump into Gerry and his crew from the Washington Square Tavern. Damn. I have been trying to ride with Gerry forever. The fact that the first time I was going to ride with him was at Gnar Weasels was mind blowing. So Gerry sees me and says "Chip!!! Ride with us!" Hell yes. After my near death on the slick boulder I needed all the help I could get.
Air horn goes off and we are "racing" I am just riding with Gerry hanging out as he smashes through all the riders ahead of him. I stay in contact with him for about 20 minutes then he hucks off some boulder and is GONE.

The first lap is a lesson in just flowing. Bad shit is happening all around me. If the course was dry it would have been pretty fast. But as I have stated a million times I suck at technical mtn biking. I am getting better and if I have ridden somewhere I can fake it but first tracks with a bunch of amped up mtn  bikers is a bit out of my paygrade. I keep just letting the bike do what it does best. I resist my usual urge to smash through everything and pick lines and find my way around. There is literally zero flow. No place to pedal. Its all Gnar, all the time. I pass DD fairly early on. His bike has betrayed him once again. I am going to create a Kickstarter just for David and send in the photo above. Dear X, my name is David. Yeah I am sure you have a whole crew of "R&D" experts to test your products. They ain't got jack on me. I am the Nightrider! I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out of controller! Send me stuff. I will destroy all your products. The products I don't destroy are indestructible. Dave showed up in Jorts. And looking like the bastard child of Adam Craig and one of the Village People. I LOVE him for it. He does what I wish I could do. In all facets of radness.

So I see DD and his destroyed machine on the side of the trail. I keep slogging. Wet root, rock garden, drop off, rinse repeat. I am channeling Thomas Frishknecht and Rachel Atherton. It is sort of working. I keep telling myself to breathe. I only almost die once or maybe twice on the first lap. I come through the start/finish and pull off at the water stop. Brian McInnis magically appears on his party bike as I am hyperventilating. He says "that is a great idea." "Grab a GU and drink something" Ok ready he says? Ready? I was just hoping to not die and finish one lap without embarrassing myself. But he is so damn upbeat and seems to think that I can do this that I get off my ass and get back on my bike. I follow him for a bit. He lets me get in the front for a bit. I hear him behind me yelling at me "CHIP! SLOW DOWN" In my addled brain I snap back to reality and see I am about to go off a 4 foot drop. I surf the ridge of the boulder to the end of the ramp and avoid death. Thanks Brian! I see Shane. He is deep into the Beer Marshal beers. Like 3 deep. He wants me to stay but I am like dude if I stop the mosquitos will drain my body of all its blood. So I keep moving. I bump into a dude who looks totally out of it. He also looks like an expert. Very athletic. A lot of expert and elite riders had been riding up the course to warm up so I just assumed he was one of them. I ask him if he is ok. His answer is not confidence inspiring. He says he hit his head and can't feel his foot. I am like WHAT? 

I suggest perhaps dropping out and heading back to the aid station. He says he doesn't want to quit. This is the effect Thom and Colin have on people. They get you so pumped up you don't care if your body is totally destroyed you want the Red Badge of Courage of finishing the hardest mtn bike course in New England. I bid my friend godspeed. I come across numerous trail zombies on the final lap. At one point I hear some rider coming up on me fast. I saw the Gnar Weasels 7 mile sign not too long before. So I am thinking FUCK I have to race this late in the game even though I am SMASHED. Ok fine. No way I just did this race to be pimped with 200 meters to go by some jackass. He gets close and I ask him why he is so "fresh" He says he isn't racing and just happened to be riding and thought it would be fun to jump in. Fun? I have been killing myself to keep some dude at bay who isn't even racing and its fun? Kidding. He was actually a really nice guy. I rolled in totally shattered. But so stoked.

To recap. Hardest Race Ever. In my life. Most fun race ever. Leah winning on the Zank Hovercraft? Yes Leah WON!!! On a bike she had never raced before. That speaks volumes about what Mikey Z knows about SS 29ers. I am never seeing that bike again am I Leah? Its ok. You won. You get to keep that bike. Gerry smashing it and then hanging out with his crew. Love that man. He does so much for the NECX and seeing him in HIS element was amazing. His dog Bruno is pretty rad as well. Major shout outs to everyone who showed up and got rad. NO ONE DIED!!! That is bananas. And speaks volumes to how tough you all are. Even racers who destroyed their bikes or bodies had smiles on their faces. The DNF % had to be off the charts. In the short time period I was Beer Marshaling we came across two racers having less than great days. We handed them an ice cold Harpoon and got them back to staging. Dan's quote was hilarious " after I endoed and folded myself in half I figured it was time to call it a day" All with a smile on his face. We need more of this. It is both old school and new school. Thom. Colin. KSweet. Christin. You all rock. Kick ass race. Can't wait till next year

Lucky 13

The Zanconato SSCX series starts in 62 days. Quad CX will be opening day. We have ten races on the schedule this year. The series is set. No mid-season additions this year. We have a great line up. Some great grassroots races, New England Regionals, and a Friday evening race on the Hallowed Grounds of Providence for Holy Week! Each year we try and kick it up a notch. But the core idea that CX should be fun remains our primary reason for doing this. A couple of rules, or perhaps tone setters. There are no rules. Ok there are rules as we are under the USAC guidelines. So yeah it won't be all Flabongo, all the time. Even at Ice Weasels they had rules. Although I can only remember the one rule Colin told me. He said its all fun and games till a naked man tackles a bike racer. Yeah I can agree with that. Even though a half-naked man met me on the course and handed me an ice cold 'Gansett and it didn't ruin my race at all. In fact it may have enhanced it. But according to USAC beer and cupcakes are PED so we will honor their commitment to "clean" sport and try and keep our beer drinking and cupcake eating in the Death Star.

Ok I have gotten wayyyyyy off track! Its really a shocker that Zank let's me "run" this thing. OK HUGE NEWS! ENGVT the company owned by Jerry Chabot, one of the Zank SSCX founders, is presenting sponsor! What does this mean? It probably means there will be a foam party at one of the races (Providence sounds like a good fit). We will have more on this later. But for now, in all seriousness, I just want to say thank you to Jerry. Thank you for being a driving force in the NECX. Thank you for pushing us to do the Zank SSCX series. And thank you for forgetting about that "incident" at Midnight Ride...I still say its 20 Pound Skulls fault. If he wasn't so big I could have moved over a touch and let you through...

So what is the Zank SSCX series and why should you do it? Do you like fun? Do you like CX? Adam Myerson has been quoted on more than one occasion stating CX is NOT FUN. And he is right. At the highest level and to be halfway good at it you should be destroyed at the finish. Leave it all on the course. I have had a few races like that. I felt pretty proud of the efforts. But doing that for a whole season is a one way ticket to zombie land. Sure some of you are poised to take on the World Cup and perhaps take the top step at Nationals. For the rest of us this is Beer League Softball (*yes I got that line from Fatmarc!) It can still be competitive. The fun aspect of CX and this series are the little battles. Battling your friends and frenemies. SSCX throws some real challenges at you. Dare I say it makes you better at CX? Sure. You have to actually think about turns and transitions. Have to embrace the "No Brakes Lifestyle".

It couldn't possibly be easier to get started. Show up at one of the races. Come see us. We will have zip ties. We can zip tie your levers and voila singlespeed. Or you can show on a SSCX bike dedicated for radness. We like seeing dedicated bikes. But we like all bikes. No one has more SSCX street cred cause they show up on a dedicated bike. So zip ties are COOL. You may even see a t-shirt pop up with some sick zip tie art. Racing SSCX is not some political statement it just adds a new wrinkle to a sport we all love. CX is getting big. I am not a numbers guy but the growth numbers I have seen are pretty impressive. Just go to a big race in NE and you can see how big it has gotten. I am more interested, personally, about growing the sport from the bottom up, than the top down.

We really love seeing new people giving it a go. Fast, slow, young and old. Its all good to us. I have two highlights from last season. One was meeting a Jr who had done her first SSCX race at the finish line with a plush unicorn. She gave me a high five and was so stoked it was ridiculous. The other highlight was when Leah and I did the two-person coed class at Ice Weasels. I am pretty sure we are 2-person coed SSCX Champions of the world.

This season we really would love to see growth on the women's side. There are so many rad women riding bikes and racing CX. It would be beyond rad to see some of you come out and try SSCX. If you hate it no worries, but at least give it a shot. I swear it is fun.

A lot of people work to make this happen. Even though we don't put on our own race there is a lot of behind the scenes plotting and scheming that goes on. Hold on one minute!? Did I just say "we don't put on a race?" It is true. We are sort of like the Lamprey of the NECX. Each promoter runs the race as they see fit. Some are more open to working with the schedule than others. Some add their own twists. But at the end of the day its their race and we are their guests. We add a real value to their race. We promote their race and hopefully make it more rad. One of the main reasons we started this series was to bring some of our favorite grass roots races together and to help them grow. Mansfield Hollow is a good example of this. WE LOVE Mansfield Hollow. It is one of the best CX races in NE. But for some reason people don't know that much about it. We try and spread the word. But as a rough outline here is how we are doing it. 

• 10 races 

9/8-Quad CX

9/21-CX @ White Park

9/22-Sucker Brook

10/4-Providence Cross Festival

10/12-Mansfield Hollow

10/13-MRC CX

10/27-Orchard CX

11/17-Cheshire CX

11/23-New England Regional Championships

12/14-Ice Weasels

• It is a series. We will publish the points structure before the season starts. Winner of the series wins a sick trophy! And probably a case of beer. At the end of season keg party we will do a sick raffle. Each year it gets better and better. Each race you do, you get your name in the raffle. 10 races=10 chances to win cool stuff! 

• Zip ties are COOL! Oh I said that before didn't I? Its the concussion. I forget easily. 

• We will stage up as the promoter dictates. Zank SSCX series preferred staging is men go first then a 1 minute gap then the women go. This will at least limit total chaos at the start. Lapping may happen. Please try not to use other racers as traffic cones. 

• We have been talking about doing a clinic or series of practices to introduce SSCX to racers. One of the NECX's finest may be leading this. I will be doing the Flabongo hand up drills. I hope that is cool. Its important. All eyes are on us. You think I am kidding. I wish I was. One dropped hand up. One lame Wizard's staff and ALL of the Pac Northwest is laughing their asses off that us type A east coasters can't even learn to have fun. 

• Research. An instructional website for the SSCX curious. I present Death Touch CX

• I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few items to appease or new rad sponsor ENGVT. One. No Uni-cycles. Ever. Ever. Ever. And no costumes. Ok at Orchard Costumes are cool. And Ice Weasels. Ok fuck it I like costumes. I may race the whole season as Bob Seals. Google it. It won't be pretty

• One last thought. SSCX Worlds are in Philly. Bilenky is working with the promoter to have a two-day race weekend filled with Mayhem. Who wants to go with me and win Philly and bring SSCX Worlds to the NECX? Thom? Buddy? You in? I know you can drink a pint glass of maple syrup. We got this. Ok party people. Start working on your waffle handups. And leave the 4 loko at home. 

#CXisComing

July 1st my Cross alarm clock starts ringing. LOUD. Really Loudly. I DO NOT HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. I know this drives the roadies and mtn bikers nuts. Yeah, yeah its July. TdF time. Peak Mtn bike racing season. But CX will be here in 70 days. It takes preparation. Maybe not for people who are fast etc. Or are naturals. But I suck. If I were to divulge how long I have been at the CX game people would laugh their asses off. Hey its easy being good at something. It takes real work to be mediocre. This season my CX alarm clock threw a curve ball at me. I won't lie. I have been evolving lately to be more mtn biker than crosser. Not by any means the type of east coast mtn biker that most of my friends are. I still have night sweats thinking of axe head rocks ripping away chunks of my flesh. And hucking is not and never will be in my vernacular. 

But I love it. I love the woods. I love how you step into another world. SS Mtn biking was a gateway drug for me. The Honey 29er with XX1 was a revelation. And I have been starting to feel really good about myself. When Matt Myette describes you as "sneaky fast in the woods" it can swell one's head. I had a good run. And maybe in my old age I had forgotten one of my favorite Simon Burney quotes about cross. Who is Simon Burney? That is like asking who is Herodotus. But I digress. I had this tradition in Norcal. One I attributed to many factors. But Burney's quote sums it up. To paraphrase "you will need a gentle reminder of the things you can do on a mtn bike that you cannot do on a 'cross bike." In my case these "gentle reminders" were never very "gentle." Rooter (Resultsboy/Colin) once described a Cross bike as being like a pencil and a Mtn Bike being an eraser. I think that is spot on. I love going on "mtn bike" rides on my cx bike. Its almost the perfect combo. You can cover ground fast. Road sectors aren't like wet concrete. In the woods the CX bike can shine. But you have to use skill not just rely on 100 mm of travel and 2.3 inches of rubber to erase your crappy line selection.

Have I mentioned I had been running file treads for about 3 weeks? Clement LAS. 33mm of CXy hot goodness. But as I have learned on more than one occasion file treads giveth and file treads taketh away. And file treads are like some drunk Irish Uncle from Rozzie. One second you are laughing on his knee on Thanksgiving thinking this is the best Thanksgiving ever and the next second you are on the floor and bottles are being thrown around the room, cops are rushing up the stairs and all you want to do is go back to signing "Danny Boy." I rode the hell out of the LAS's. Raid on Rockingham, HUP Camp. Rode some serious gnar. Wet and slick. Hub deep mud pits. NBD. LAS have fat casings. They are super plush. But file treads don't have a real working edge. A Mud2 will give you some feedback when its about ready to go. A file tread when it goes it goes. Like the rug being pulled out from under you. So I am riding The Loop. Its part of the Ronde. I was done. 20 minutes from home. I am descending a fireroad I have ridden a million times. But am going fast. Alarms are going off in my head. I think the last thing I remember is Rob Warner calling the Fort Williams downhill. Then I am flying through the air and land on my ribs on a rock pile.

Heaviest crash I have had in a long time. As I am lying there pretty sure I just broke ribs or worse a 15 year old girl with two pugs runs over to me on the ground. "Sir, are you ok?" "I ride bikes and that looked really bad!" The pugs are licking my face. I think they were laughing at me. But frankly no oxygen was going to my brain. "Do you want me to call 911?" I got up. Assured her I was ok. I was sure I wasn't. Got on the bike. Rolled down to the road and headed home. Long story short Newton-Welleslely ER for x-rays. "Dr" Brian didn't do jack. Headed home. Body was so messed up. Concussion and major bruising. Mojo somewhat smashed. Got a CX wake up call and a Hubris check. Its been about two weeks. Still have lingering concussion symptoms. Not as bad as some of my friends. And its sort of a running joke with my wife and daughters. But it does make one pause. You start looking back at the wrecks and the injuries and the little voice starts talking in your head. Luckily, one of the major side effects of this concussion is euphoria. Feeling happy is good right? Now if I could only get my sense of direction back. Crazy when you forget little basic stuff about where the car is or which turn you take to get home.

Head injuries are weird. Your only option really is to shut it down. So I took a few weeks off. Cape Vacation didn't include any riding. Except that one time I rode to JTs with Zoe to get a soft serve. And she crushed me. And she got super pissed at me when I rode down a boardwalk to the beach. Odd that my family doesn't find my shenanigans amusing. My usual secret training camp was crushed. I resorted to jumping off a jetty and eating lobster rolls. Then I started noticing the carnage popping up on twitter and facebook. There is something about July. Its like a perfect storm for bikecatastrophes. So many friends down. So you just embrace the HTFU motto. Heal, rest, try and get your mojo back. I have eased back into it. In some ways getting hurt has been the best thing for me. Mud2s are back on the bike. Focus is on CX. And D2R2. And the Dirty 40. Maybe JAM Fundo. Oddly the CX crash is still in my head. Need to get back on the mtn bike. Gnar Weasels is in a week. Not sure what to think. #dronkreg'd for the SS men. All the cool kids are going. My team is all excited about it. Hopefully I remember how to flow like water on the Gnar. That or I will be getting some Tough Mudder style running in. Maybe I will just wear a red speedo and a cape. Give these kids a little Bob Seals history lesson.

70 days. The Zank SSCX series is coming. Beer sponsors need to be secured. Need to rally the troops. Zip ties will be a way of life. ENGVT is on board. And will save SSCX on the east coast. Did I mention IronCross? Oh man. So much work to do. Time to get out the hard hat and lunch pail. Once more unto the breach my friends. See you next Saturday. Wonder if Colin and Thom realize they scheduled the race that will be the wrecker of souls on the 13th? Probably not.

The Lion of Burlington

I think its pretty obvious by now what I hold up high in my pantheon of the biker life. Friends, Wolf Pack, family, Gnar, dirt roads, shenanigans, HUP. I am a pretty simple man. I will do anything for my Wolf Pack. This last Spring and early summer a shift has happened. I have been loving all the rides we have been cooking up. And friends have been putting their own stamp on the "Bandit" ride. The common denominator is of course cross bikes. In theory this is how you should spend your "offseason" as a cross racer. Riding dirt. Lots and lots of dirt on the CX bike. Just getting in the woods and getting those skills. But this season its almost become its own thing. Much to the derision of purists people are "monetizing" it. Hence all the "gravel" rides that are popping up. The simple fact is that riding dirt on a drop bar bike is fun. Whether its 100k of dirt roads or 35-60 miles of gnarly trails. And when you throw in a bunch of people who live for the less traveled path it gets interesting fast. The key to these adventures is of course having an open mind and just approaching it as an adventure. 

My good friends Ed and Michele invited us all to a HUP BBQ and CX ride at their home. I didn't really know what to expect. I tease Ed that he is a triathlete. Michele traces her CX roots all the way back to Boston Cross. Both of them are amazing. Great friends. Great parents. Last season they were an inspiration. They brought two kids to the races and raced their hearts out. In a very short time they have brought so much to our small band of misfit CX racers. I joke that Michele is one of the two to three people who can reel in my ADD. She has been a great mentor to a lot of HUP riders. So even though I didn't know what to expect I was super excited. I assumed the ride we would do would be pretty low key. One HUPster even showed up on a road bike. Luckily Ed had a spare bike that fit him perfectly!

We had about ten HUP, and about 6 FoHU. I even brought my wingman. I pretty much can't go anywhere without Nick at this point. Guy is a one man wrecking crew and is just one of my favorite people on the planet. We rolled out in a fairly mellow pace. And then it went full Gnar. I was way too busy trying not to die to really process what was happening. It had rained for about 5 days straight. There were flood warnings. People were in BRANDNEWBLANCO. It was so muddy and gnarly it was insane. And I was on file treads. Perfect! To say I have been impressed by the Clement LAS file treads would be an understatement. It is proof that casing and volume trump knobs every time. I was able to shred. There was never a moment where the tires held me back. So we hit these crazy trails literally 5 minutes from Michele and Ed's house. I would lose my mind if these trails were so close to my house. It was classic Gnarnia. You pop into some gap in what looks like a hedge and then voila amazing trails! This is one of the revelations of New England. In SF none of this would exist. It would all be condos or off limits to bikes. Nick crashes on some greasy rocks. Didn't seem bad at first but it was an Omen.

We get to a junction and regroup. Nick tells me his right shifter is done. Oh shit. Nick is unflappable. He whacks it a few times and we just keep rolling. We start railing through all manner of berms and drop offs. At one point I drop off some rocky ledge see a huge loose boulder in my direct path and think to myself this is it. This is when you get back in a pink cast. But once again the Honey saves my ass. A simple flick of the right thigh and the bike moves enough left to avoid it. Ed is at the front and smashing. Like HULKSMASH. My brain is sort of able to process that this doesn't make sense but I have way too much other stuff going on to figure out how a "triathlete" is schooling hardened cross racers, world cup level mtn bikers and some under 30 year olds. I am too busy laughing, diving into mud bogs and hopping logs to worry to much about how Ed transformed himself into a cross killing machine in the offseason.

After we punch out of that insane dirt sector I sit up and make sure we haven't lost anyone etc. HUP doesn't leave a rider behind. Ever. It is a rule of ours. And just good form. Especially when you are in the woods. Everyone makes it through with zero issues. This is impressive considering what we just rode through! I now realize this is going to be a legit CX enduro ride. To be honest it turns out to be way more technical than any CX ride I have been on to this point. And that is saying something as this years Ronde included a ton of dirt. We were basically riding mtn bike trails on our CX bikes. I still remember Pineapple Bob extolling the virtues of a cross bike being a "do everything bike" He said that to me decades ago and it holds true to this day. It is funny how much resistance there is right now towards "gravel bikes" A CX bike is the ultimate bike. You really can do everything on it. Will it be the perfect bike for each type of terrain? No. But you can do it. And a skilled rider can do it with style and class. So we roll past the Burlington Mall. People joke that we should stop at Lululemon. Can you imagine the response? We were about 10 miles in and already smelled really bad.

We come through another amazing trails section. Okay at first we couldn't find the "trail" It felt a bit like Jurassic Park. Everything is so overgrown right now. Its like nature has exploded the last month. Then we saw the a gap and punched through some overgrowth and found the trail. After some bushwhacking and debate about how long it takes poison ivy to take hold of your brain and turn you into a Zombie we hit the 3rd dirt sector. I was hanging back again making sure no one got lost. There was a high line and what appeared to be a river. I took the high line. I heard what sounded like a speed boat off to my right. And then Dana climbed up through the undergrowth to join us on the high line. Oh Hi Dana! As we dropped off the sketchy high line I heard a sound that did not compute. It sounded way too deep for a bike fjording a stream. As I come out of the reeds I see Nick riding across the river. He is at the fork crown. He is dubbed the U-Boat commander for the rest of the ride.

Michele and Ed are driving a very brisk pace. I am not sure exactly what is going on. Our "water stop" and bathroom break is very brief. Perhaps they realize just how much more ground we have to cover and that we need to get back to get the BBQ going. I actually appreciate having them doing all the thinking and policing of the ride. Its nice to for once turn my brain off and just ride. We get on the Battle Road and it as always is just amazing. It is simply gorgeous. Yes it gets busy. But it is one of those trails that has so much history and natural beauty. I love riding it.

I snap a bunch of photos. Snapping photos while riding is no joke. I get off and set up a few shots. I get a great one of Michele and Meg. It sums up what HUP is all about. The best part of these rides is being able to hang out with friends and talk and catch up. It was the first time I had seen Sara and Dana since they got married. Those two hold a special place in my heart. Love them both. And it made me so happy to be riding with them. JD was with us. Which is a HUGE treat. JD works so much when we are racing etc. JD does so much for bike racing its crazy. And during CX season its hard to get to hang out with him because he is in full work mode. I love any chance I get to ride with him and talk with him. He has so much knowledge and love for bikes and bike racing it blows my mind. The fact that post ride he was so excited about racing Dugast mtn bike tires at The Pinnacle warmed my heart. I share his love of all things euro. Trust me. If I didn't think I would destroy a set of those I would own them!

In Landlocked things get a bit weird. But you know the saying. When the going gets weird, the weird get going. Its so awesome riding "mtn bike" trails on our CX bikes. Again I am blown away at how well these fat file treads handle nasty muddy trails. We bump into two mtn bikers on full suspension bikes and they just look at us like they are seeing ghosts. No one has crashed and gotten hurt. We have had one flat. Poor Nick has been a human sacrifice for bad bike Karma. He has been riding a 46x18 for about 20 miles. And his shoe broke. And of course Michele had duct tape to fix it. Incredible. We fly through LLF. We are in a fun group. We have split up into two groups. One led by Ed and one by Michele. We get back to Burlington all smiles and covered head to toe in mud. Nick has brought an industrial size bottle of Tecnu. We hose off and pray we aren't covered head to toe in PI. Have I mentioned Ed and Michele have cross barriers in their back yard? Yeah they are pretty much the King and Queen of HUP NE. Actually they are in fact. As they shattered a Strava segment together on the ride. It wasn't any easy uphill road segment either. It was a nasty loose rocky climb. And they both attacked it with a vengeance. They are going to make people cry next CX season. I guarantee it!

After an amazing ride we have a fantastic party/BBQ. Michele and Ed were such gracious hosts. They were so happy to have all of us at their house. And that to me is the key to being a good host. It was so good seeing so many HUP and FoHU hanging out, having fun. Kids running all over the place. We even had a surprise visit from YASH!!! How special was that? What a great day. HUGE thanks to Michele and Ed. Thanks to everyone who showed up and got rad. So much fun. We need more of this. HUP is a special team. And days like this make me realize just how lucky I am to call all of you my friends and teammates.

Raid Rockingham

There are times you come to a fork in the road whether literal or metaphorical and you have to chose. Chose the less travelled one. Not an original concept. But one true New Englanders have always embraced. So when Team Honey p/b Jamison's Irish Whiskey came across this sign at the Raid Rockingham it was an easy decision. We stopped to take photos while a fast group was milling about. They had a look of fear in their eyes. They asked us if we were going down the CX Trail of Death. Of course we are. This is why we came up to this ride was our simple response. And we punched into the trail laughing our asses off. Behind us I could hear the group of gentlemen saying "but you will get wet.." #TWSS popped into my head for a millisecond quickly replaced by my radar lock on the sets of huge puddles that awaited us.

But I have gotten ahead of myself. Which is not unusual if you follow this journal of my and HUP/Honeys exploits. Rides like the Raid are what we live for on HUP. You throw words like gravel, dirt, rail trails at me and I am all in. Basically you had me at dirt. Roger Cadman is my gravel riding sensei at the moment. I have really switched up my usual summer riding plan. Typically I ride my road bike, do a few mtn bike races. But Roger is a huge randonee/brevet rider. He loves doing mixed rides and getting out there. Its pretty easy to get addicted to these types of rides. Just google gravel ride and you will see how popular it has become. It appeals to the cross racer in me. Its similar to cross in that you obsess over equipment choices, tire selection and preparation. The differences are enormous of course. CX requires zero food consideration and is over in 45 minutes. A "short" dirt road ride like the Raid is over in 3+ hours and requires a lot of hydration and food preparation.

I have been real open that I am NOT an endurance rider. I am a HORRIBLE climber. But I love it. I tend to love things I am horrible at. What good is loving something you are really good at? Maybe that speaks to the New Englander in me. We like things that beat us up and that we have to work at to be halfway decent at. I like these rides because it really gives you a glimpse at your true self as well as shows you what your friends are made of. These rides expose you. The more I do these type of rides the more I find myself gravitating towards certain friends. Roger and Nick are two of my friends who I just can count on. They may drive me and produce some hilarious in ride heckles but they know me and know how to bring out the best in me on these rides. So we signed up. Nick became the first Team Honey p/b Jamison's rider ever registered for an event! He did me and Honey proud! And as always is a great wingman driving to these things. He has an uncanny ability to process directions. He has an inner GPS that is unrivaled. And he brings Killer Mike for the soundtrack.

We didn't really know what to think of the Raid. I think we sensed what it would be like but had very little intel on it. My email box was filled with many freak outs about what bike to bring and what tires to run. For me it was a simple choice. CX bike with LAS file treads. I switched to my current CX bike before the Ronde de Rosey and I am never going back. It is the best CX bike I have ever owned. I made sure it had two sets of water bottle bosses just for this reason. The LAS file treads are big meaty cx tires. I knew they would be perfect. Rolling resistance on the road isn't great compared to a 25 but road isn't what I do these rides for. I do these rides for the dirt and mud and gravel. Its unacceptable to me to not be able to rail that stuff. The ride was organized in a parking lot and super chill. The promoter came through asking for who wanted to go in the fast group. We jumped in and it felt like the start of a Cat 3 race at Canton. So many familiar faces. Of course we took off at warp speed. My body was not happy. I had been fighting some scourge for a few days. Ok maybe at almost 50 I don't have what it takes for a 4 game #BROONS series like the one we just got through. Those last two games took years off my life. I was not feeling fresh. But I wasn't here for myself. To be honest I was here for Roger. Sometimes you ride for yourself other times you ride for your friends. This was one of those times where my only purpose was to be here with Roger.

We are flying and I am cracking. And then I see the first dirt section and a switch went off in my brain and I just accelerated into it and got to the front. It was hilarious seeing all the guys on road bikes and 25s smashing off rocks and going into the weeds. One guy came to a complete stop at a puddle. Did I mention we were going 25 mph down a rail trail? Yeah so I avoided rear ending him at speed and just put the pedal to the floor. Half way through Roger and Nick come FLYING by me. It was a thing of beauty. One other rider latch onto us. Did I think of it as the Forest of Arenberg ? Of course I did. That is what HUP is all about. Give us dirt and mud and gravel and we shine. It is like a badge of honor. To not do well in those conditions would be unacceptable. And like Arenberg this first dirt sector had the same effect on our group. We didn't see 90% of the riders we started with until the first water stop. The ride was so well supported. Great arrows showing the route, marshals at dangerous road crossings, they even had a port o pottie at each water stop. Very impressed. The route was fantastic. A great mix of road and dirt. As much as I resist New Hampshire is wearing me down. Its hard to not love a place with such nice roads. I have to say people were great on the route as well. We were bombing down lots of rail trail and gravel roads. Drivers were very careful. Dare I say nice? They really were. We passed through a few towns and the people on the sides of the road would clap and cheer us on. It was really nice.

But back to the bike selection. People who chose road bikes and 25s were disappointed I have to think. Or I would have been. Sure you could do it. And maybe there is a group of riders who feel its more "epic" to do these rides on a road machine. But why do that to yourself? Why not bring a bike equipped to do well on the road but excel on the dirt? I was really impressed by the Clement tires. This was my first ride on them and they worked great. Its opened my eyes a bit. Roger was on his Winterando and 28s and had no problems at all. Nick was on a CX bike like I was. My favorite section was definitely the CX Trail of Death. I could ride that all day. Hub deep puddles, some deeper to be honest. Nick almost took a swim at one point! I wasn't having my best day. Nick pushed me a fair amount both physically and mentally. He even helped drive out the Selena Gomez song that was in my head early on with some Killer Mike. Two of my favorite quotes of the whole day:

First one was as we hit a Strava segment. Roger screams F Yeah STRAVA!!! And just goes full warp speed. I happened to be trying to eat a Bonk bar at the time and almost choked to death because I was laughing so hard.

Second one was as we were descending towards the end. I was completely cracked and fumbling for a gel pack in my pocket. Roger was slightly ahead of me and Nick. He sees the arrow and takes a hard left. Now I am descending at about 30 mph on dirt side to side with Nick. Nick looks over at me and says "Get your shit together Chip!" I bring my hands back onto the bars and barely make the turn. Laughing the whole time of course.

What a great day. And the reason Roger was driving such a hard pace? I had to make it back to a wedding in Boston. I got back to the car completely shattered, changed, pounded a coke and flew back to Boston. The day was literally all about friends and doing your best to be there for them when they need you. I made it back to Boston in plenty of time to make it to Jeff and Lodrina's wedding. It was such a beautiful wedding. The two of them are amazing. I love them both and wish them a lifetime of happiness.

The Destroyer

"I am death, shatterer of worlds, annihilating all things." That gem is from the Bhagavad Gita. An Indian Prince asked Shiva if he could see his true visage. Shiva strongly suggested against it. I had a bit of an epiphany the other night while on a ride. My brain is pretty slow on the uptake. I am that guy who always remembers the punchline long after the delivery would be actually funny. So the fact that I never connected the dots in this case shouldn't be a very big surprise. I have been pretty upfront of my fear of Needham Town Forest. Some openly mock me about it. Fine. A few have the actual skill to back that up. But I stand by my respect of NTF. Its not a place to be taken lightly. People want gnar. I get it. I do too. But NTF goes a tad beyond gnar. On weds I met DD and Joel in the parking lot. They were running a bit late so I was alone in a wooded parking lot clad in spandex. Awkard. To say the least. A couple of other mtn bikers pulled in the lot. They were a very enthusiastic bunch. They quickly asked me if I was here for their ride. I tried to be polite. I was nice and asked them what their ride was all about. A rider joined them and asked about NTF. "Is it technical?" Dude in camo shorts and a bmx helmet laughs and says "yes" New guy asks, "How technical?" Camo shorts sort of mockingly says "the most technical place you will ever ride" New guy is getting a bit agitated, "harder than Harold Parker?" Camo guy. "much harder than HP.." New guy gets nervous.

I sat on a rock watching all this unfold and laughed my ass off. Inside of course. No one clad in spandex should be outwardly laughing at anyone in a wooded parking lot unless they want to get their ass kicked. It was actually empowering. Here was a dude who clearly knew what he was talking about and he was giving NTF the grade A gnar stamp of approval. Deitch finally arrived. We get our act together and roll out. I do my best bull in a china shop impression. Smashing into all the things. Even riding through a downed tree. DD lays down a good mid-ride heckle "This is why you can't have nice things Chip..." I tune him out and continue smashing. Until we get to a section I have never ridden and let him go a head. He does what he does best. He really has some sick skills. Watching him ride techy terrain fills me with some hope that I can actually ride it one day.

We get about .25 miles. To a very familiar spot. Dave decides to try his luck at riding a log of death. He doesn't die. But I feel like we are pushing our luck and I hear the other group smashing through the woods headed our way. So we move on. We get to the tree of fear and Dave's tire demon rears its ugly head. Dave has a gift. He sort of has blamed it on Schwalble Racing Ralph's super light casings. Looking back every time I ride with him he breaks something. His kill rate on tires is staggering. Tonights victim was a brand new Specialized Ground Control. Dave said it was indestructible. Um it died the same quick death of countless RR at Dave's hands. The puncture was through the tread. Stan's is shooting out like a geyser. Dave grabs a can of something and starts his own personal NTF Foam Party.

We somehow get back to the parking lot. That is one of the beauties of NTF you are never that far from the lot. So repairs thankfully are easy. DD puts a tube in, we meet Joel and head back out. As we "redo" the prologue section we bump into the Foxboro crew. They are up to some high level shenanigans. They are trying to ride up a chunk of slate rock that we typically go down. Of course the only guy who makes it is on a singlespeed. Then one of their crew decides to drop down the rock of death as I call it. Colin once heckled me severely at the bottom of it. It was a priceless heckle. "Chip, I can smell your fear from down here" That cut deep. But while words may hurt, axe head rocks actually cut through flesh and bone rather easily. As I have said a million times I am a horrible technical rider. I use NTF as a playground or a crucible. Its the only way for me to enjoy riding in there. If you go in thinking you are going to shred or ride it fast it will chew you up and spit you out. So when I see a guy on what looks like a hybrid going at the chute of death I say to myself "self either this guy really is good or you are about to witness some serious carnage" He clipped in and then proceeded to hit a tree. Thankfully it was a nice tree and kept him from falling down the rock face to his death.

But this experience really made me think. These guys are on crappy bikes in shorts and t-shirts, are crashing like its their job and are laughing their asses off and having a great time. It dawned on me. This is why I love mtn biking and mtn bikers. They give zero fucks about what people think. They might be a bit fat, they ride ugly at times, but they are in the woods having a blast. Ok back to my story. So I sort of forget about Dave's tire disaster for a second. But then I start doing the rewind on just how frequently he has destroyed his bike when I am with him. I may be some kind of curse. I mean the list is insane. Too many tires to count. A destroyed full suspension bike in LLF. The SSAP debacle. I hope he doesn't read this because if he puts 1 and 1 together he is going to come up with CHIPBAKERISCURSED. And he might be correct. That time I shattered my arm to pieces in SF. Yeah I had used a smudge stick on my mtn bike. Like the day before I broke my arm. I sold that bike by the way. I don't care if it was built by a mtn bike Hall of Famer it was cursed. It was my fault. You don't mess with that type of magic if you don't know what to do with it.

But none of that occurred to me at this point in the ride. At this point I just wanted to ride. I took Dave and Joel over to some stuff we never have ridden before. I found it the other day by accident. For a place that is 5 minutes from my house I have a very limited knowledge of the trails. Its easy to get lost in there though. Its all these secret trails that are more maze than trail system. If a Minotaur burst through some trees with a battle axe I would not be surprised at all. The new trails had a really good flow to them. A bit less axe head ridden. And maybe a touch less out to kill you. We had been in the woods for a while and we were all getting a bit bonky. I started doing my best to direct us back towards the car. Dave saw a nice log to hop. Its like the log ripped him out of the air and body slammed him to the ground. Of course his leg was pinned between the log and his bike. The ONLY thing that kept him from snapping the leg in half is his consumption of bacon. I am sure of it. Builds strong bones. Ok once we determined Joey umm I mean Dave was ok I took us back on fire roads and fireroads only. We passed a ton of sick trails but I could sense tonight would end badly if we attempted any more gnar.

When we got back to the car we saw two of the Foxboro crew. They were smiling and putting a bike back on the car. The bike was missing a crank arm. Dave even in his injured state fixed the bike and sent them back into the woods for more gnar. It was a rad night indeed. I am loving mtn biking more and more. Still not "good" at it. But I think mtn biking is sort of like yoga. Being good at it is very relative. The main thing is riding. Keep striving to get better. I still am amazed when I do something and don't die. I have been riding a geared bike which is a total eye opener. Going from riding a singlespeed to gears is wild. I am noticing some bad habits creeping back in. I have to remind myself to ride like a singlespeeder and attack the technical sections. I have to remember to ratchet. The new bike is amazing. I am a true believer in thru axles. Its stiffens up the front end so much. Especially on a 29er. I honestly didn't think I would notice a difference but its night and day. It tracks through rock gardens and technical sections way better than a quick release fork. And yes, I have been liking the gears. Granted I only have 11, but its nice to be able to have some gears to set up certain climbing sections or when I am going park-to-park. Its opened up riding for me.

And its sexy. Sexy is important with bikes. At least in my mind. I hope Dave will keep riding with me after this revelation. I swear I am not the 5th rider of the apocalypse. At least I think I am not. Sometimes I do feel these little nubs growing out of the top of my head but I am sure its just from all the times I was dropped as a child...

Ticket to Ride

So things have changed up a tad around here lately. I have "un-retired". Don't call it a comeback. My love of bikes has never waned. I always was up for helping friends with any bike related project that they threw my way since I have been home. 

Looking back at some of them I kind of crack up. Did I really think I could ride to Washington? That was nuts. But I have had an affinity with Honey Bikes for the last three years. Working to develop the first HUP Honey was a blast. When we relaunched the HUP Honey this past winter it awoke a real passion in me. I love working championing a brand I believe in. So without going into too much detail I am now working for Honey Bikes. I am super stoked to say the least. The bikes resonate with me on so many levels. I am really excited to push myself with this project. 

What is Honey? Honey Bikes is a Boston-based bike company. We manufacture all our bikes by hand and to order in the U.S. Honey specializes in uniquely designed specialty bikes, with a focus on pure riding. 

With cross season right around the corner it made sense to do a CX promotion. I know too well how much scrambling goes on each season to get equipment ready. A few years ago you were fine waiting until August 1st to even think about CX. Not any more. You need to get on it at the latest by July 1st. June 1st for me is the start of the build up. Start running, start getting more serious about fitness. Lose any extra LBs. Still have fun but move towards being ready to go by August 1st. At Honey we thought why not help out and offer a race ready bike that is delivered by August 1st! Great idea right? All you need to do is get your order in to us by June 15th.

To check out the offer go to Honey Bikes 

We have some really cool incentives as well. In fact we will PAY you to race cross. How sick is that? 

For the Cross is Boss project we’re offering a choice of one of three additional benefits - as a thank you for racing cross! 

Option One: A Limited Edition Honey jersey, in partnership with RaphaPerformance Roadwear. 

Option Two: A tin of Limited Edition Honey Medium-Heat Embrocation, in partnership with Buckler Embrocation, and a subscription to Cyclocross Magazine.

Option Three: Let Honey sponsor you! We will pay for three cross races of your choosing for the 2013/14 season!