Five points

The original name for this post was going to be "YO HANNEN" in honor of my friend who has lit my proverbial couch on fire. What the hell is Chip talking about? Crossresults unless you have been living under a rock or think USUCK created their own race predictor is the BIBLE of CX in the NECX. It changed everything. Literally. It moved us out of the Dark Ages of race staging scrum into the new millennial. We are now staged by wait for it our actual ability to do well in the race. The way slow as fuck people aka me stay out of the way of the really fast people. It may shatter some people's over inflated view of themselves and maybe crush expectations of a legion of special snowflakes but guess what it works. And one of the many amazeballs features of Crossresults.com is the couch fire. Your Crossresults page is sort of your personal walk of shame of CX. No hiding out. And if you lose X amount of races to a certain foe they light a couch on fire on your page. #sorrynotsorry. We had a really rad thread about how to put out couch fires. There is only one way. Bathe in the blood mist of your frenemies. 

Colin Johannen is a good friend. A super rad dude. Rides fat bikes. Wears costumes. Races SSCX. And gears. Doubles up most races. Waaaayyyy better CX racer than I am. But a boy can dream. We have had some good "battles" but he has always bested me. A few close ones. I think in general I get close when it gets tight and twisty and maybe a tad euro. I make no bones about my focus during CX season. I am more about the fun side of things. Grow the sport through community and just getting people stoked. I love competition and racing. It can draw a lot of people to our sport. But the real lure is the family we have. It is a amazing group. I have more friends now than I ever have in my life. It is bizarre. Its not supposed to be this way. So 10% of my brain is like "Yo, bitch how about you frickin' stop messing about and do some damage." "Go point hunting. Put them couch fires out!!!" So maybe I do my usual soul rides with a few spirited efforts but I haven't trained in about a decade. Its all fine. I have bigger fish to fry. Like keep this rolling SSCX party growing in the #NECX.

But I won't lie I do want to maybe do OK. So I found myself close to Colin I thought to myself hmmmm maybe we can put that fire out today. And what more perfect place than Putney. There are a few words that shape an entire place. Teahupoo, Repack, Kamikazee. Putney is the heart and soul of New England Cyclocross. The longest continuous CX race in New England. Maybe the US. Held in VT at an awesome bike shop. Course is legit. Oddly people lose it about the upper course. Its a bmx/mtb pump track for those who have never really ridden a legit pump track. It has a drop off. Kind of. It is NBD. But for roadies it is "scary" I used to joke that the corn field that was a part of the course was where souls and dreams go to die. It was a bizarre counterpoint to the upper radness. It had this perma freeze thing that could happen turning a seemingly easy corn field into a slick covered hockey rink. I have crashed so many times on that corn field its not even funny. So when we heard the corn field was out I won't lie I breathed a sigh of relief. 

I actually kind of got excited about the new course. I love VT. Love Putney and the crew. It is literally on my always go list. I could be on death's doors step and literally put me on my bike prop me up and let me race Putney. It would be the perfect CX Viking Funeral. But we had no idea what the new course would be like. I got up there early. The Chainline Party zone was set up at the perfect spot. Next year we need to put a full tent row up top. But the Chainline crew just get it. They get CX and the NECX so much. I checked in with Kevin and Eric. Eric won the raffle last year. What raffle? The Zank SSCX series has an end of series raffle. Each year Zank donates a CX frame. Each racer gets a ticket for each race they enter. Eric won last year. It was beyond awesome. No one was more deserving than Eric. Zank surprised Eric with the raffle bike! It was bespoked with Chainline glitterbomb pink. Eric has done so much for the SSCX series. His crew are so rad, Kevin is probably one of my favorite people in the #NECX. Kevin reminds me of Roger Moore in Ffolkes. Roger Moore in Ffolkes is an SAS agent who loves cats and knitting. And is an assassin. That is Kevin. In a nutshell. And the whole Chainline crew. They will smile as they bury you. And I love all of them.

But back to the topic at hand. YO Hannen. So as previously mentioned Colin has lit my couch up. Big time. So when the first lap insanity shakes out and the dust settles I find myself very close to Colin. He is sort of talking to himself. "Colin nice body english" "Colin, why did you do that!!!" as he overcooked a turn. Frankly at this point I was focusing on Kate Northcott. She is a local West Hill rider and all around amazing person. She flew by all of us. I knew she had the course dialed so I was looking past Colin to her to see the good lines. But every dog has his day. And oddly I felt ok. Th great thing about SSCX is you sort of have a restrictor plate on the bike. Or maybe its like one design windsurfing. It keeps it tight for a bit. Tactics. Smart moves. Smoothness matters. So I went full slow is smooth and smooth is fast. I was in my usual spot in the party zone but felt ok for a fat old dude. So when I saw Colin close I was like ok. Maybe today we put the fire out.

 And then I saw Big Bikes Thom on the run up. Laughing and with a bag of beer. Sort of like Jared Leto in Suicide Squad. And like Harley Quinn I fell hook line and sinker. Sometimes well everytyime hand ups > putting out couch fires. Thom gets it. He is like the Lancelot of SSCX. He keeps us honest. He came to Putney to have fun and did. He went looking for hand up beer and all he could find was super hoppy artisanally crafted beer. You do not want overly hopped beer on a run up where you can't even see straight because you are so hypoxic. You want a light lager. Myette has shown me the way. Its a hockey thing. You can drink 24 coors lights no problem. But one Heady Topper would crater you on a first lap run up. So I took that hand up. And every other hand up Thom offered. Thom was on fire. I love that dude. We had some bobbles. Frankly at lap two Colin was complaining about the run ups. I would stop and have a beer with Thom and then chase Colin some more. It was hilarious. I would give Colin the gap. Then chase him down. Then give him the gap them chase him down. But it was literally the best race ever.

Maybe couch fires are things to be celebrated. Colin is a badass. I am a soft, aged dad. Just being able to mix it up with him was so rad. One of my favorite in race heckles was when a spectator cheered us on and I heard Colin say " OH I KNOW WHAT CHIP WANTS!!!" Hahah I did want to beat Colin. I won't lie. But sometimes honor and duty come first. No way I was leaving Thom hanging with a cold beer in his hand. No way I wasn't gonna battle in the mucky muck. But Colin is faster than me. And I respect that. Putney was amazeballs. HUGE respect to West Hill for taking the heart and soul of the NECX and kicking it up to 11. If you didn't make it put it one the calendar for next year. Seriously. 

The most rad part of Putney was Pete Smith finally taking a win in the Zank SSCX series. He has been so close. But at Putney it all came together. Huge congrats to Pete. He earned it. Two more races left in the series. Secret Squirrel and Ice Weasels. The Quest for the Vest is close. Last year it was decided by 5 points. Who is going to win? Same Bat Channel. Same Bat time. See you in a few weeks at Secret Squirrel to find out!

The Race to the Race

photo by Jacob Kravitz

I pretty much retire every cross season. I have been retiring and "un-retiring" for about 10 years. The first year we moved back home from Norcal I raced. That was a pretty good season for me. But the last ten? Yeah its been a beautiful hot mess. I might have had one good year in there probably about five years ago. But there are a few races that I just refuse to miss. I am in full dad mode right now. Having two teenage daughters keeps you busy. I will never be one of those parents who goes full whacko and thinks their beer league softball is more important than the kids formative years. So sacrifices are made. But I won't lie. I like hanging out with my family. We do a lot of cool stuff. It is never boring I will say that. So barring some legit family activity like Comic-Con or a hockey game I will get to those ten or so CX races a season. And the Zank SSCX races take top billing in that department. 

photo by Jacob Kravitz

I am what you would call a SSCX specialist. It fits very well into my CXenduro lifestyle. Honestly I don't think I have raced cyclocross with more than one gear in about two years. Maybe three. It isn't like I am anti-gears or anything. I just like racing SSCX. Certainly Heckle Hill at Cheshire made me question this lifestyle choice but running up Heckle Hill gives you more chances to get hugged by a drunk snowman or grab some dollar bills. Speaking of Heckle Hill and Cheshire it is one of those races I just try my best to never miss. It is that rad. Heckle Hill is one of the best run up/ride ups in New England. The Hill People bring it. Full costumes, hand ups, noise, full party mode. But what is even more awesome than all the chaos is they do it right. As Pete said after the race it is very civilized. It is all positive. And in the perfect spirit of the #NECX.

photo by Jacob Kravitz

So when I saw the schedule it got a huge red star on the calendar. Our sports schedule this time of year is relentless. Hockey is like a full time job of shuttling kids around, watching games at rinks and then digging out after the game. Takes up the entire weekend most weekends. But the schedule seemed doable. Syd's game was in Brighton at a reasonably early time. Cheshire is really only 2 hours away. So I got Syd to the rink and was ready to do the drop and go. Then the coach wanted me to fill water bottles. Then run the line up to the other coach. Then she asked me to be on the bench. FULL STOP.....I love hockey. I love that Syd plays. I am so proud of her. It is in my opinion the toughest sport to be good at on the planet. Especially when you only started skating two years ago. So I support her anyway I can. And I won't lie being on the bench during the game was so rad. I got the defensive responsibilities. Its really only opening and closing a door and making sure the D sub out and are fresh. Maybe a bit of advice here or there and reminding them to drink water. But anyone can do it obviously. It was the highlight of my day to say the least. But put me about 2 hours behind schedule. 

photo by Jacob Kravitz

Walking out on the ice in tennis sneakers was a bit sketchier than anticipated I actually was worried I might slip and kill myself. But thankfully the hockey gods were watching out for me. So I hop in the car and then get home and throw all the things in the van. Then haul ass to CT. It was tight. I knew it would be but man I do not usually feel ok with this little window. I basically just let myself accept that if I missed the start I would just run around and cheer everyone and still have a blast. I got there at 3. Race started at 3:45. I got my number, kitted up and headed to staging. No warm up. No pre-ride. No fiddling with the bike. Oddly it made the whole thing more relaxed. I mean at this point I had so many excuses for sucking in my back pocket it really didn't matter how the race went. My only real goal was to shred the roller coaster section and have fun on Heckle Hill.

photo by Jacob Kravitz

There are a lot of reasons I love Cheshire. Number one is the course. I think it is my favorite course in New England. It really has a bit of everything. Starts and finishes on a grass field. Has some nice off camber grass bits. It has a legit sand pit. Frankly all races need sand pits. It has the roller coasters and it has Heckle Hill. Basically the idea is get rad for the 3/4 of the course then survive HH. Then recover then get rad. Rinse and repeat. The second reason I love it is I get to see all my CT friends. I have so many rad friends from CT. CT has some of the best CX races out there. Reason three is Hunter and his crew. They just make the race so much fun. You feel welcomed. The race is really well done. Ok the drunk announcer is rad. I don't know if he was actually drunk. He may just have been really naturally funny. But he was on fire. 

photo by Jacob Kravitz

My favorite in race heckle from an announcer in a long time was when I was coming through the sand pit and Colin yells to me "CHIP, I GOT THE STUFF!!" You can imagine the heckles. Its like Colin and I just did a CX parking lot drug deal. We didn't. Or did we? For all the above excuses I oddly had one of my better races on the SSCX at Cheshire. Not sure why but I felt good. All of the photos in the post are from Jacob Kravitz. He really captured the essence of the race and Heckle Hill. It was so good seeing everyone and like every SSCX race in the series we all hung out after and drank beer and talked story. The series is so awesome. We are in the final sprint to the finish to the Danger Zone at Ice Weasels. Rumors of some cool new features. The Quest for the Vest is heating up. I don't think we have had such a close race before. But Bob Stine and Pete Smith are in a battle for the overall. The two of them have been so great for the series. Competition only makes racing better. And those two race with pure heart and class. Proud to call them both friends. On the women's side Mellisa has utterly smashed it. Love how much radness and fun she brings to the races. It has been so awesome having her lead the charge and making the women's races so rad. 

We have four more races. A double VT weekend this weekend, then Secret Squirrel and then Ice Weasels. Come out and join us. Don't miss out on all the fun. HUGE thanks to Jacob for letting me use his photos! 

Orange is the new Black

Hunting season in New England is open. Be safe out there. Bow is Oct 17-Nov 26. Shotgun in Nov 28-Dec 10. Check your state and local regulations. I do a ton of mixed terrain riding. Park to Park. What ever you want to call it. I can cover a good amount of terrain right out my front door. The woods are my church. A lot of these parks don't allow hunting but a lot do. Its probably not a bad idea to wear some hi viz in general this time of years as the weather gets a bit nastier and we lose daylight. I started wearing my orange moto helmet. I like it. It makes me feel a bit safer. I get that some people feel afraid at the thought of someone hunting while they are riding in the woods. I saw a bow hunter come out of the woods just as I was popping into a new section of the Charles River Trail. He certainly looked a bit like Rambo. All decked out in full camo and with his bow. Calling it "hunting" around here sort of cracks me up. Deer are pretty used to people around here. I don't think you need to do too much "hunting" to find one and drop one. Not that this will make you feel any safer but the regulations clearly state that hunters can not hunt near the trails.  

Speaking of the woods and mixed terrain. I love adventure riding. It is really what I do on a bike 99% of the time. I am not doing it to hide away from the roads and traffic. I like roads. And road riding. But the woods are just where I can find peace. When its cold this time of year it is always warmer in the woods out of the wind. And it is always changing. Trees fall down and create fun challenges to hop. The trails get covered in leaves and become almost impossible to follow. I have been mainly riding my 29er. After being off it so long and riding my CX bike almost exclusively since July the 29er feels like my fat bike. Slow and fun. The upright position is perfect for this time of year. The big tires just roll over the leaf hidden rocks and roots that might cause you and your bike some serious damage on the skinnier tires. It is slow. Sometimes its good to slow down. I have been in exploration mode and found a really nice connector to Pegan Lane. It always existed but was pretty bushwhacky. The new trail is fabulous. It puts you right up on the top of the fields with a great lookout of the farm and woods below. 

We are truly blessed to live in this region with so much open space and real seasons. It is easy to complain about the cold and the leaves and the work that comes with Fall and Winter. But I love the leaves. I love seeing them change color. And I love when they fall across the trail creating a blanket of orange and yellow. The cold is a shock to the system at first. But the best way to deal with it is to get outside and experience it. It is embro and buff weather. Time to dig out the layers. After a couple or rides in the cold you will acclimate. Again you might have to slow down a touch. Bust out the winter boots if cold feet are an issue. Find some gloves that keep your hands warm. Really feet and hands are the key. As long as those stay at least unfrozen you can handle about anything. A buff or scarf certainly makes the ride more pleasant and is stylish. Everyone looks cool in a scarf. 

With the changing of the season we are in the home stretch of the Zank SSCX series. We have some great races coming up. Cheshire, Paradise, Putney, Secret Squirrel and of course Ice Weasels. We have a bunch of the special Zank SSCX series Koozies available. Get yours before the season is ovah! We will have them with us at the races. It has already been one of the more memorable seasons on record. Really looking forward to the next 6 weeks. And counting down the days until we enter the Danger Zone at Ice Weasels! HUGE thanks to everyone who has made this SSCX season so rad!

Green means GO!

 

Woody Allen once said "80% of success is showing up" This applies so much to CX. And certainly was the mantra for MRC CX. There were lots of excuses I could have used to NOT go to MRC. Frankly I was so close to not going. I worked Night Weasels and had promoter legs. I had woken up at 5 am on Saturday to take Syd the kid to hockey. I was out late the night before at Roger Williams Park at the Pumpkin Festival. It was pouring rain and the bed was so cozy. On and on. Actually the rain is what got me out of bed. I would have been so mad if I missed this one. Luckily giving zero fucks about how I perform at a race makes it much easier to get out of bed and go race. I get it. If you care about your placing and feel work and life will limit your placing in the bicycle-pedal contest perhaps you will hate yourself if you don't place in the top ten. Or beat your rival and leave their cross results page one big flaming couch. But honestly I gave up worrying about beating people at races years ago. #Dadlife really is freeing. I only care about the actual racing part. How I do is meaningless.

But I definitely pushed it. I slept in. Had coffee with my wife. Left way late. Luckily the bike was already dialed and everything was in the van. Still it was probably the least prepared I was to race in a while. This happens with races that are close to home. So I went full couch to SSCX. I had switched my gearing to 42 x 19 from 42 x 18. Not a big difference but frankly I am so happy I did. Despite how I may appear I am not a masher of gears. I spin. And like to flow a bit. Having to get on top of a big gear doesn't really work for me. And the cog is green so it was a slam dunk of a decision. I was very #hyped to race in the pouring rain and mud. I didn't get to pre-ride so I had no idea just how incredible it was going to be. Frankly after a month of racing in a dust bowl these conditions were like a 50 year storm of CX. You had to be there. It is like when Mavericks goes off for surfers. CX racers love mud. And nastiness. It is why we got into this oddball sport in the first place. No sane person would choose to ride a glorified road bike on grass and run up hills with said bike on shoulder all while being elbowed, punched and chopped by 50 over hyped racers unless there was a real payoff. Playing in the mud is that payoff. 

Todd driving by Katie Busick

How often do you get to get that dirty and basically engage in an adult slip and slide on two wheels? There was a great crew of SSCX racers at MRC. Even Gewilli was there! It was so good to see him back out on the SSCX bike! Gewilli is built for these days. All power and bike handling skills. He smashed it and came in top ten. So happy for him. Lancaster is a really cool place to race bikes. It is always funny having two such different races at the same venue in the span of two weeks. Midnight and MRC couldn't be more different. Its weird. I love both. And both have a tendency to shred me to pieces. Luckily the mud and nastiness slowed things down a touch and made it a bit more manageable especially with my current state of fitness.

Pete in the pain cave by Katie Busick

I can't remember the last time I raced in actual rain. Maybe SuperCup out in PDX years ago. Maybe Downeast one year. But it was not only raining it was pouring rain. The start was the usual insanity. I didn't honestly notice any difference between the 18 and 19 tooth cog. I like how the start at MRC works. Straight away into a nice turn onto "grass" then back out on the pavement. In this case the "grass" was a mud bog. I came in way too close to the trees and actually took a branch to the head. Which is saying something as I am so short. How I didn't get knocked off the bike is beyond me. I try and chase and hold on to the fast people. We hit another heavy section with a climb and I am doing ok all things considered. Griggs comes flying by. We get to the top and start flying down a nice greasy section. 

HUP there it is by Katie Busick

We get through the first trip into the barn without incident. I come through the weird turn heading to the Go Cart track and see Eric on the side of the course. Flat. Myette was out right at the start. Such  bummer to see fast friends out of the race so early. I could tell it was going to be one of those days. Attrition is always a factor in any CX race but on days like this the toll gets high on bikes and riders. I was riding well which was weird. Maybe it was all the cider donuts I had eaten on the way up. There were some really fun features on the course. A sick horse jump was definitely one of the highlights. On the backside I came through the coral and not having ridden the course before had no idea how deep the "puddle" was. Now calling this body of water a "puddle" is an understatement. I went too far outside and found out just how deep it was. It also smelled bad. Like really bad. After that first lap I did all I could to hug the inside as much as possible.

With a couple to go my good friend 20 Pound Skull caught me. Right after the nasty puddle. As he came by he said "BATTLE OF THE GREEN BIKES" We both ride super nice green bikes. I tried my best to take a page out of Resultsboys CX race tactic book and just sit on Todd's wheel. I think for this to work you have to actually stay on the riders wheel. Todd out drove me why lie. He and I are so well matched as riders. I love racing with him. I tried to hang and came close to reconnecting a few times but it was over. At that point I did my best to just hold off anyone catching and passing me and tried to keep riding as smoothly as possible. Really though it was just one of those courses were racing was secondary and ripping around the course became what it was all about. I had some weird flashbacks to racing at the Watsonville Fairgrounds in NorCal.

Women's podium by Lesli

Watsonville was one of my favorite places to race. NorCal when I first started CX was in a rainy cycle. There were so many mud fests when I first started racing CX. Sunday was such a reminder of why I fell in love with CX. After the race finished up we all hung out and ate frites under the Landrys tent and drank 3Cross beer. This is why I love the Zank SSCX series. It was freezing. Racers were shivering and cold. But we all huddled together and shared fries and drank beer. People had huge grins on their faces. Mike Wissell our Middle Earth Spirit Animal smashed it again. Leslie Lupien came back and took the top step in the women's field. Such a great day.

Captain Morgan Podium by Lesli

Next stop on the Zank World Tour is Hanover CX. This course is a classic and not to be missed. After that we have Cheshire. Cheshire is literally one of my favorite races of the season and happens to be on Halloween weekend. You know what that means. Special secret prizes to the best costumes at Cheshire. Thanks once again to all the SSCX racers who are coming out and making this season so special. See you all at the next race!

Nacht Van Weasel

Shane on the top step photo by Katie Busick

This post may be a bit of a hot mess. I apologize in advance. Basically I have "retired" from bike racing, bike race promoting and the bike industry about a million times. But its like the mafia. You can retire but they keep bringing you back. Well in the mafia there really is only one way to retire. And its permanent. I would rather be funemployed  as they say. And honestly as hard as promoting races and bike racing can be it has to be fun. I have always sort of celebrated and struggled with the idea that my only friends are bike racers. If I actually retire would I have friends. I am sure I would but I would miss so many people. Its ok to be slow and getting older. I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is not seeing my friends. They are like a second family. Always have been. P-Bob once told me that. About 30 years ago. CX is a family. And it truly is.

Alex doing some course destruction by Jon Nable

 Night Weasels is on its seventh edition. I don't even know how this is possible. It has flown by. Night Weasels has endured a lot of challenges. Bog Weasels was probably the toughest one. I am shocked we kept going after that. But to my early point. Night Weasels is a family. Ski Ward, our host, is a family run business. They are amazing. They work so hard on the event and are always so stoked to see us and seem to enjoy the race almost as much as we do. Its awesome. Honestly it is what keeps me so stoked to put the race on each year. So this is a post about friends and family. I hope it isn't too over the top.

Bandit SS by Jon Nable

I will just say it. This Night Weasels was the best ever. We had one bummer over the course of the evening but it is bike racing and these things happen. Frankly, how we responded to that incident made me even more proud to be a part of this Night Weasels family than I already am. Like I said we have been putting on this crazy night CX race at Ski Ward for seven years. Colin, Sara and I are a really funny team. I maybe didn't notice it until this year but we really compliment each other so well.  So it in a way is "easy" Bike race promoting is never easy. It is way harder than racing or working to be honest. Its like hosting a huge keg party for all your best friends. You don't know who will show up and you don't know if you have enough beer or red solo cups. You stress about whether you picked the right music and hope no one gets in a fight. We have a whole legion of other supporters that maybe most people don't even "see" but who we could never do this without. Ryan Kelly is on the top of that list. Frankly I don't think we could do it without him. He is so critical. JD is another one. I don't even know how he does it. 400+ racers go by with folded numbers in a night race. How do you even score that? But he always sorts it out.

Pie Plates are for the cool kids by Doug Kwan

Michele and her "NO" t-shirt always keep things dialed at registration. The whole crew at Ski Ward is amazing. I have worked on World Cups and big events like the Sea Otter and I have to say the people at Ski Ward work harder than any other host I have ever worked with. They help us build the course, they open up the lodge and have worked with us to build a beer garden and offer food bike racers love. Its awesome. I can't think of a lot of CX races that have a heated lodge with a beer garden right on the course. It is pretty special I will just say that. And we really have gotten to know them well. Its like a family reunion in a way when we roll into Ski Ward each year. 

Joanna Wang by Chris McIntosh

Each year is different of course. I keep coming back to help with Night Weasels because I want to support my friends and help grow grassroots cyclocross. If you know me that is my white whale. I support the highest level of CX and am stoked to see Hyde and Noble et al crushing it. But I love seeing the grassroots grow and flourish. Honestly I have so many highlights from this year but I think the one that stands out the most is Joanna Wang. I walked the course with her and my good friend Guthrie. Guthrie gets me going. His pure stoke on bikes is infectious. We walked the course and talked a bit about it. I had never met Joanna. She is a friend of a friend so she is a friend. Then she crushed it. And waited sooo long for the podium. All the other ladies for the Cat 4 podium had gone home. I get it. It was cold. The temp had dropped about 20 degrees. But Joanna was a champion. She stuck around for her podium. Ryan and I were so amped. I am pretty sure I owe her a pie. We will make it happen.

Dragon Breath by Chris McIntosh

 The biggest changes this year were the death of Holy Week and a new title sponsor! We have never had a title sponsor. We have always worked with friends and relied on those we really believe in. We do this as a labor of love. We have never been in this for anything other than throwing a rad CX party for our friends. But a partnership arose and it happened to be with friends I have known and trusted for a long time. Verge is synonymous with New England Cyclocross. They have been a part of this scene forever. I reached out to them and they were so into it. They have been the best sponsor ever. The podium jerseys are off the charts. People were so stoked to win them.

Podium Pie by Chris McIntosh

 Speaking of winning jerseys. I rolled up to the race a tad early for me. The #CBL can get kinda hectic. I am basically a stay-at-home dad. Why lie. I have been a stay-at-home dad for 16 years. Its nuts. Best job I have ever had. But it is my job. And I treat it as such. But the kids have gotten older so I have some flexibility. The first thing I hear is there is a French kid here who wants to pre-ride. I mean its like 1:00 PM. Cat 5s don't even show up that early. We sort of joke at his expense. "Is he Quebecois?" Mais, NON he is zee FRENCH. God we are such ugly Americans. He gets his laps in and we build the course and get things set up. And then I forget about it.

Resultsboy by Chris Macintosh

I am way too occupied being FULL Podium Boy at this point. I sort of suffer from ADD. I probably should have gone into the trades. I need constant supervision and stimuli to stay out of trouble. Bike Race Promoting is actually very good for me. I run around setting up podiums, prize bags, etc. We decide to do some fun primes. And as I am up on the hill judging the first stair prime I get a text from Michele. It is a picture of a pie plate. Hahaha. #occupynightweasels is now in full effect. Four hearty, dedicated aka crazy single speeders have decided to #makesinglespeedgreatagain and go Full Crusty Cruiser Cup on us. I of course support this 100%. What is the Crusty Cruiser Cup? The CCC was basically the first SS race series. The Zank SSCX Series is inspired by the CCC. The CCC was a race series within a series. They didn't have a dedicated SS category in Norcal in the late '80s early '90s. People showed up on single speeds. They raced. Then they did their own little weird podiums and kept points. It was beyond awesome. It is how I got into riding mountain bikes and single speeds.

Odin's Spear about to smash by Chris McIntosh

Mike Wissell has embraced our weird band of misfits with open arms. I am not sure this is a smart life choice on his part but I never flinch in face of genius. He raced Midnight on a hybrid. Ok that is Thom talking. He is racing a BALLER 29er SS. I like to call it Odin's Spear. He won Midnight CX. He smashed the top ten of the f'n ELITE race at Night Weasels on a 36 x 15. I can't even fathom that. I love that Mike is smashing it. We had three other rad riders racing SS. Kevin Church, Tyler Knapp and Matt Myette.

French kid doesn't play by Chris McIntosh

 The evening of racing was so exciting. The women's elite race was won by Kate Lysakowski. The men's race was won by, wait for it..... the French Kid. I mean he literally destroyed all the local riders. I am not sure if Lindine were here that he would have beaten the French Kid. People better be watching this kid at Gloucester cause he looks like a kid but he is not playing. They just make them faster in Euro-land. Maybe its in the water. Who knows. But it was so cool once again having a French speaker on the podium at Night Weasels. This is a new Weasels LLC rule. There has to be a French speaker on the podium. If it is not the Luna crew or a Canadian it better be an actual French rider.

Elite women podium by Chris McIntosh

We could not do this without the HUGE support of our sponsors: Verge, Mad Alchemy, Scratch Labs, Landry's, Shimano, Mighty Leaf Tea, Jakes, Pedro's, Drink Maple and of course our host Ski Ward. The amazing volunteers, the Pedal Power Team, JD, Ryan Kelly (ISMYHERO) and all of you bike racers that come out on a Weds night and make CX amazing. Thank you all. You ALL rock! I know I can't stop talking about podium pie but seriously. Podium pie.

Podium Pie was a huge hit by Chris Macintosh

Captain Underpants

There really is only one way to write a blog post titled "Captain Underpants" and that is drunk. But it is 3 pm and I am on dad duty. So I am drinking Chamomile Tea. With Honey. HST is rolling in his grave somewhere. I will do my best even under these sub-standard conditions to relate the Legend of Captain Underpants. The OG Captain Underpants was always a fan fave of my kids when they were young. Who doesn't love a giant baby superhero in underpants who fights crime. I mean come on. That is way better than Ant Man. Or Hawkeye. Certainly better than Aquaman. I mean get Aquaman out of water and it is all frickin over. But onto our very own Captain Underpants. 

Johnny Utah is a man of mystery. You never know what he is gonna come up with. He started texting me missives about foot down contests and all other manner of shenanigans leading up to Midnight Ride of CX. Midnight is a fantastic race. It was the opener for Holy Week. #RIPHOLYWEEK. Even with Holy Week dead and buried Midnight is on its own a fantastic evening of CX in the #NECX. Who doesn't love a mid-week race under the lights? It is probably one of the best tailgaters of the entire season. So it is always special no matter what. I sort of ignored Utah's texts as I know there is so little time at Midnight for anything but the races. I felt a little bad as I always like to encourage any and all antics when it comes to SSCX.

A mid-week night race is always a challenge. Everyone is rushing out of work or school. Racing at 5 pm is stressful. But I got there around 3 pm and set up shop next to the Chainline Pain Train. I bumped into Utah right before getting called over to staging for the SSCX race. He kept mentioning this "amazing" costume he had to show me. And something about "it is going to be epic. Like a 50 year storm...you will NOT want to miss it brahhhh" I gave him a big hug and headed over to the start grid. I honestly had no idea what he was up to but knew it would be something fun. Midnight always has a big field of singlespeeders. The start of this race genuinely scares me. You go from 0 to 25-30 in a blink of an eye. It is a straight start on pavement that turns into gravel and a chicane of death. There have been some pretty bad crashes. This year to mitigate that they avoided the right hand turn onto gravel and had us basically funnel straight into the grass and make a wide left turn. On your own or in a small group this was all totally manageable. In a pack of maniacs going 30 mph it had some serious mayhem.

I survived the initial surge and got to the grass intact. Made the first turn. I heard braking and the tell tale sounds of bikers going from 25 to 10 to 0 mph and got excited thinking I could take advantage of this crashing and scrum and put a gap in between them. Well in my over excite mode I failed to factor in all the fast guys I was around with way better skills than I have. I ended up going right through the tape in the next corner and basically t-boning my friend Myette. This is not what you are supposed to do when people say ride "tape to tape" Although, frankly my course destruction made the course way better. That corner shouldn't have been there. See I am a giver. So I avoid killing Myette and myself. Which is shocking. Then Rosey sneaks under me in the next turn and I smash into some other dude. It is getting very Talladega Nights very fast. I somehow pull it back together but to say I am off my game is an understatement. 

The new course layout is fantastic. I am not so great at fast, turny grass courses but there are so many elements of this course that are just so awesome. I try my best to bridge up to some friends but all the turns and wood chips make it so tough to make up those seconds. That is truly one of the beautiful things about CX. It is all these little mistakes or great moves that add up to either moving forward or going in reverse. I was pretty much going in reverse. But about mid-way through the race I see Utah on the side of the course. It is not unusual to see a friend off the course in CX. But he is doing something. What is it? And of course I snap out of this and go back to the task at hand which is trying desperately to suck less than I am currently in technicolor. I come around again and I see what Utah was up to! He is in his underpants. Tight blue underpants. And a buff. And helmet. That is it. I almost fall off my bike laughing. Now this isn't my first time racing men in underpants but it can be awkward. You never want to have a man in tighty whiteys in front of you. You can't unsee that. So I say screw cross results points and series points and beating frenemies. MY ONLY GOAL IS NOT TO BE PASSED BY CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS. Now for full disclosure Captain Underpants is way faster than me. And fitter. I mean just look at the photos? Jesus. 

So I have to dig deep into my tool box and use some quasi dirty tricks to stay ahead of him. Honestly its not Utah I am running scared from. It is the 6 guys that are glued to his wheel coming for me. I somehow get to the final paved straight and get in before being reeled in by Utah. It was hilarious to say the least. Team Zank rules. And Utah brings it to everyone of these Zank SSCX races. Other than Agent Utah's performance the highlight of the race was at the front of the race. Midnight brings out some talent. And we had some really fast people in the SSCX race. Bob Stine was running away with it but being closely matched by Mike Wissell and Pete Smith. At the last barriers Bob's chain fell off. Mike and Pete were able to slip around him and go in for 1 and 2. But Shawn Mottram caught a running Stine on the pavement. Instead of doing what 99% of every other bike racer would do and blow by Bob and take the 3rd spot on the podium Shawn pulled up and started pushing Bob into the finish. The classiest move I think I have ever seen in a race. Shawn pushed him all the way to the finish line then launched him to the last step on the podium. Pure 100% sportsmanship. That is why SSCX is so great. Especially here in the #NECX. Shawn I salute you my friend.

Ok so that was the race report. Onto the other aspect of the race. Shenanigans are a very important part of CX. As is tailgating. After 11 years of this you would think it would be obvious to me but it dawned on me Weds night that CX is just an excuse to tailgate with my friends. I am damn lucky. My friends kick ass. Michele kept looking for me at the end of the race. This isn't unusual. Lots of business happens at the races. But she had sort of a devilish look in her eye. When you are named Chip, Chip jokes just tell themselves. And of course at Midnight we had Chip timing. Jimbo created a precedent a few years back at Dirty 40 of picking me up at the Chip Pickup. I was probably a tad lighter back then. And Jimbo is a strong dude. So when Michele told me her plan to put me in the "Chip Return" I thought oh christ we are definitely going to get hurt. It was really just a matter of who was going to end up in the er. Michele when her back gave out or me when she pile drived me into the chip return.

Michele is very strong. I mean obviously. Her first attempt at lifting me was shockingly effortless. We enlisted Shane to be our camera guy. I love Shane. The whole Shenny project frankly is one of my favorite new aspects of HUP. Shane and Jenny are so rad. And I LOVE Shane. But art direction may not be his forte. I mean I spent five years at one of the finest art schools in America. Granted most of that was spent trying to sneak into Brown frat parties and working at Geoff's superlative sandwiches and taking life drawing classes. So as Michele is picking me up for the tenth time and I am doing my best Bill from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure I notice Shane is holding the phone horizontally. We make a quick adjustment and boom. Pure cameraphone magic. The Chip Pick Up tradition invades CX. Midnight Ride of CX was a HUGE success. Epic as Captain Underpants would say. I don't think it was the 50 Year Storm. Like Maverick's you have to be ready. It will happen this season I can feel it.

Make Singlespeed Great Again!

I know, I know wasn't singlespeed always great? Umm yeah sure. Its always been a blast. But it has taken a while to really take hold here in the #NECX. Colin and Thom got this party started at Ice Weasels and it just took off like a zombie pox from there. We have run our little Island of Misfit Toys series with pretty much one principal race hard, have fun, drink beer. Each racer can decide in what amount of those three they would like to participate in. This past weekend saw two NH races. Stop #3  in the Zank SSCX Series p/b Mad Alchemy was at Sucker Brook. Sucker Brook used to be the traditional opener for the NECX. It is still one of the classic New England CX courses. It has evolved a bit over the years but retains so much of its character. And for a race that is basically a fast flat course it can be a buzzsaw. I have had more friends get chewed up and spit out on this course than most others combined. I think probably because it is the "opener" people come out of the gate flying. If you don't have at least one race under your belt Sucker Brook is going to be a rude awakening. Going couch to Sucker Brook is not a good idea. Trust me. 

I was pretty hyped for this race. What is new right. Mad Alchemy's return has really gotten me pumped up. Pete and Janet are just awesome. They are so fun. And just bring so much to the events. I forget at what point Pete either created a hashtag or mentioned #makesinglespeedgreatagain but when I first heard it I totally cracked up. And when I saw he had made bumper stickers I almost lost my mind. So rad. Hit Pete with $3 via paypal to sales@madalchemy.com to get your very own #makesinglespeedgreatagain bumper sticker. Every one I see this season on a car, bike or body gets some swag, or beer. Or both. Now on to the race report for Sucker Brook!

I love Sucker Brook. It was one of the first CX races I did when I moved to the #NECX from SF. It was very different than Watsonville I will say that! Super fast and flowy. Some fun woods stuff. And a massive sand pit. I love/hate sand pits. Riding them is amazing. Running them? Wow. Yeah it is part of CX and you have to embrace it but I am not a runner so it becomes a bit of a sufferfest. We had 40+ racers in the SSCX. See we are making singlespeeds great again! The numbers are definitely up this season which makes the racing so much more fun. My friend Myette had to frankenbike a rig together just to get into the race. He was literally tearing the bike apart and setting it up 30 minutes before the race. And having done day of reg he was on the last row. Which is hilarious as he is one of the faster SSCX racers in our series. The whistle blows. We accelerate up the paved straight away at warp speed. Myette comes flying by and goes into the hole shot in the top ten. Well done my friend.

It is predictably utter chaos for the first three to four turns. I somehow survive and am dangling off about 15 seconds to a group of my friends. SSCX is incredible. But it is sort of like racing with a restrictor plate. In this case you have the gear you chose. You live and die by it. I had a 42 x 18 which is great for the straight aways and pavement. But meh for the corners. I sort of prefer spinning to mashing. Although this gear is making me a masher that is for sure. So I am killing myself trying to catch Eric from Chainline and Grant. Colin from Bikeman is so close its insane. Like one corner away. But no matter what I do I can not close that gap. This goes on for pretty much the entire race. The only spot I am able to kind of sneak up is in a little woods section. But then he would get on the gas and that gap would be back.

It is so fun racing against friends. The SSCX crew is just awesome. I finish up in my mid-pack spot and head to the tent to see how everyone is doing. I learn that Mellisa won and will now be the overall leader and wearer of The Vest. I am so happy for her. Cathy was so great as previous wearer of the vest. She raced in it and added some awesome flair. My favorite of course is the I am Canadian button. Because yes, I love Canada. Sucker Brook crowned a new Power Couple of the NECX in the SSCX series. We have had some badass Power Couples. But these two rock. They bring so much energy to the races and to SSCX. Honestly between them and Pete this season is shaping up to be the best season we have ever seen. One of my favorite parts of the SSCX category is that we all hang out after. No one just jumps in their car and heads home. We sit around and drink beer. Share snacks. Heckle the later races. We just have a hell of a time.

Speaking of ideas. At Sucker Brook Kevin from Chainline launched a new SSCX Association. It is called OGRA. One Gear Racers Association. Many bylaws were written on Sunday. It is going to be epic. Once we write all the bylaws up we will print them up on Koozies and hand them out at the races. The next race on the schedule is Midnight Ride of CX. It kicks of #Unholyweek. And it is only fitting that the theme of the SSCX race will the The Upside Down. If you haven't already watch Stranger Things please do so between now and next Weds. All will be revealed. Things are going to get weird. But if you see a Demogorgon do not take his hand up. I can't be responsible for what may happen to you. Am I saying we will have a Ouija Board at the race? Maybe. Dungeons & Dragons? Probably. We are doing this one for Barb. Ok party people. Thank you all for making this series so rad. See you on the Darkside in a week .