Sunday, July 21, 2013

Barn Burner

I am almost always positive. On more than one occasion I have been described as a cheerleader. I have seen photos of myself. I am more Chucky than Cheerleader. But I do get excited about all things two wheeled. And I get myself worked up pretty easily if it involves dirt and big wheels. It stems from my childhood. It was pretty much in my job description for my whole youth to wreck myself on a bike, trike or anything with wheels. Ok skates as well. But for this blog post we are gonna flip it for a second. I am gonna go negative. Not because the Barn Burner isn't the greatest thing since peanut butter and fluff found each other. But because you would have to hate so many things to NOT show up for this bike race. So here we go. 

Top Ten Reasons to NOT race Barn Burner.

1.) You hate fun. Literally. The Barn Burner is the POLAR opposite of Gnar Weasels. There is something so Zen about doing these two back to back. The fact that they are almost in the same zip code is mind boggling. So to break it down for you all. Think fast, flowy, woodsey goodness. About zero Gnar. A race that is 80% singletrack. Great for a SS. I would go with a big gear. 32 x 18 at the minimum. If you wanted to win you might go 33 x 17. Too fast and too furious. And yes there is enough "Gnar" to keep it east coast. A few rock gardens, one "dismount" across a stream/mud hole, some fun boulders to hop, and one rickity bridge. I am taking the "B" line race day. Unless I have a clear shot at it and then I may just come in hot and shred it. Cause Abel will love me for it ; )

2.) You HATE beer. And ice cream. And fun. And hanging out. Adam's Farm is 6 miles from my house. And 5 minutes from Bubbling Brook. What is BB? One of the best ice cream stands in ALL of New England. So let's recap. You get to SHRED a sick flowy course on loam and then go get a burger and an ice cream right afterwards. Am I the only person who finds this amazing? My formative years racing mtn bikes involved driving 5 hours to the boondocks, racing for 3 hrs and then eating at McD's. Yes I have scars. Psychic scars that will never be healed. Although Barn Burner may be a beginning towards real healing

3.) You HATE beer. Ok I said that in #2 but did not elaborate. There is a Harpoon beer tent. Sweet baby cheezits in a gold lame diaper. So I get to race my head off, come back to the Death Star and get a cold beer and hang out in my kiddie pool? Amazing. Oh and yes they have space for team tents. Like Gloucester. Which brings me to #4.

4.) You HATE cyclocross. What? What does CX have to do with this mtn bike race? I mentioned this race was 6 miles from my home right? My home is in the epicenter of the Boston bike scene. So Barn Burner is say 30 an hour from most neighborhoods in Boston. How many CX racers live in Boston? A SHIT TON. Am I right? How many venues do we have 30 minutes from Boston? Not too many. Adam's Farm would make a sick CX venue. I have pre-ridden the course twice. Each time I looked at the venue and was like: Sand pit? Check. Plenty of parking? Check. Fireroad start? Yes. Fields of dreams? Check. It would be a beyond rad CX venue. And most importantly they allow beer. Boom.

5.) You hate racing. I think lots of roadies and cross racers "hate" or "fear" mtn biking because a.) they don't feel they are racing or b.) they fear death. Neither of these come into play here. Remember when I said it was fast and flowy? I was NOT blowing smoke up your ass. This one is gonna be a ripper. And in some ways zero fun. If you are "racing" that is. If you are racing you had better KILL yourself to get the holeshot. And then you better go deep into the pain cave to stay off the front. And if you crash and dab its your own damn fault cause it will be like Canton CX. 20 people will go by you in a blink of an eye and you will be off the back faster than you can say get the point.

6.) You love Gnar. Ok for the real mtn bikers. The ones who SHREDDED Gnar Weasels and put a smack down on all us posers (yes I include myself in that category). They may be less than stoked. But knowing most of these real mtn bikers they are going to love the whole scene. They will love the beer. They will love that the Blue Hills Cycling busted their asses to buff a sick trail system that hasn't been given much love lately. And this is why I LOVE real mtn bikers. Like I said I pre-rode this twice already. Both times with real mtn bikers. They were all smiles.

7.) You love driving. Nothing pisses me off more than driving 3 hours to race a 45 minute CX race. It is such a colossal waste of fossil fuels. It makes zero sense. Guess what unless you live in Quebec this is an easy drive. But carpool. While their is parking it may be tight for this one.

8.) You hate singlespeeds. Who could hate singlespeeds? Seriously? This one is as close to Stewart State Forest that I have seen. Seriously. Its a great venue for rocking the SS

9.) You hate bike racing? Did I mention this already? Ok sort of different here. Blue Hills Cycling busted their butts to get this ready. The trails were cleared and arrowed and marked a week before the race. That is incredible. They did a ton of work to make it a really fun race. Show them you actually like bike racing and support the race. And then thank each and everyone of them

10.) You hate trail access. WHAT? This is a mtn bike race, what the hell does that have to do with trail access? Everything. NEMBA works so hard to keep our trails open. They build bridges. Literally and figuratively. The race and our support will help NEMBA to keep trail systems like this open to mtn bikes. By coming to the race, supporting NEMBA and Blue Hills Cycling and Adam's Farm you can help ensure we have both sick places to race and ride.

Ok see you all next Sunday. The HUP tent will be in full effect. Kiddie pools will be procured.

1 comment:

  1. I'm missing all the good ones this summer. You better be on the royal blue ss or we're taking away your badge.