Friday, July 3, 2009

The Sons (Fathers) of Anarchy

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.

I "met" Tyler Durden about a year ago. A totally chance meeting. I was picking up pizzas and happened to be wearing a Chris King T-shirt. One thing the east coast does is Pizza. It is everywhere. And local "townie" pizza joints are to suburbanites what pubs or coffee houses are to cool urban hipsters. A townie in full sox regalia kind of grumbled from a booth "hey do you ride mtn bikes 'cause Artie is a real strong mtn biker." Now you have to be real careful with these exchanges in new england. Especially when you don't know anyone in the establishment and wether this is good old masshole heckling or an actual attempt at human interaction. I assumed the best and said yeah I mtn bike a bit. Well that got things rollin' Artie the proprietor of said pizza joint got pretty interested. He kind of spoke to me in a hush tone like he was letting me in on a secret (and he was in spades). "we've been building trails" he tells me. Really? Yeah they are kind of sweet he responds. Do you know the initiation/passage you'd have to go through to get a surfer to tell you about a secret surf spot they discovered? They'd cut off a limb before they let you in on it. Freeriders want to share what they've built/discovered. We exchanged phone #s and played a year long phone tag marathon. It never panned out for some many reasons. Then yesterday I got the call...it was on for Friday the 3rd. Then I received this:
I'll admit to being a bit afraid. As I freely admit I suck as a technical mtn biker. I envisioned riding with a bunch of full face helmet, body armor wearing hucksters...Chipo doesn't do full face helmets or hucking...seriously. But the Sola had really taken my game up a notch so I figured why not just check it out. I hit the Lottery. Seriously. What a cool cat. And the dude is a ninja on the bike. We were a group of 5. I was the only one on a hardtail. But I was on one badass hardtail...riding with these guys is going to kick my mtn bike up to a level I never could have even imagined. Luckily I went into this ride with a couple of weeks on the sola, the epiphany of colins Mtn bike tips 101 and watching Rosey firsthand shred Cutler park. I held my own, there was some crashes, funniest of the bunch was when Ed tried to rock up a sick boulder stalled mid-way fell backwards. His friend the Saint throw his bike in his way to self arrest him, I dove in the way tried to break his fall as best I could but only managed to keep him from hitting his head on a stump. Hilarity ensued. Artie's brand new Juicy brake lever imploded...and even with only a front brake rode out of his mind. I had to keep reminding myself he had no rear brake. It was an incredible display of technical ability.

So I answered the call...the first rule of fight club as we all know is you do not talk about fight club....I'll do my best but these trails are too good and this group of riders is to cool to not share... 

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.-Tyler

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