Young Man Winter

Ice World has no rules. As we all know. I like most sane people have some rules. One of those rules is no riding under 20 degrees. I also hate the trainer. Like viscerally hate it. I don't know how people do it. Frankly riding the trainer for extended periods of time is wayyy more brutal than riding outside. So when Andy Huff (picture above) called me out on my own supposedly Hardman fb page and on twitter I pretty much had to show. You lose all your Hardman status if you don't show up for your own ride right? The Garden Gnome said 10 degrees. But it looked sunny. Andy tweeted that he was dressed and heading to Cutler. No turning back now. I got my self all jacked up listening to Sean Paul Temperature. About 20 times....

Put on ALL my clothing. I was a bit worried about my gloves but whatever. How bad could it be? I rolled out and it wasn't that bad. Sun was shinning. Sure it was cold. But it wasn't that bad. On my way to Cutler I saw a pack of teenage girls walking wearing just hoodies. No hats. No jackets. Hoodies. Uggs and sweats. Yeah you think you are Hard. Not even close my friend. Townie girls are wayyyy tougher than you trust me. I laughed a bit inside and rolled over the hill to PTC. I got there wicked early. Not a great thing when its 10 degrees and windy. One rule of winter I do stick with is keep moving. As long as you are moving you can't freeze to death. Pretty sure that was in Jack London's Call of the Wild. Or maybe its keep moving so the wolves don't get you. What ever. I was an art major. So I go into Cutler and search out the euro chutes. The ground was frozen and fast. Found the sickest chute yet. Rolled back to the parking lot and was greeted by about 5 police cars, an ambulance and two Firetrucks. Ahhh the party doesn't start til the cops show up.

Andy was boxed in by what looked like either a.) Dog Walker road rage b.) Drunk hikers c.) an old lady who went for brake and hit accelerator. Either way a car got t-boned in the parking lot that defied all logic. All the policemen and the poor guy who's SUV was just jacked up just looked at the crime errr accident scene and shook their collective heads. Luckily they were all wearing their helmets or they would have deserved it cause driving cars is inherently dangerous...

Anhyoo. Two other hearty souls arrived. In all the excitement I started getting all Hypothermic so I jumped in the team car. Should I mention that Andy had four rolls of course tape sitting in his car. Yeah the King of Bandit cross is ready to occupy your park at a moments notice....be afraid. The Occupy CX movement is coming to a park near you sooner than you can imagine.

They finally got me out of the car after much protest. They weren't buying I already did my ride. You guys go ride I am going to listen to dancehall music here in the car...They dragged me out and put me on my bike. Mostly cause they didn't know the trails. I lead out and go into the park towards the Island. Andy and I are chatting a bit. I stop to shake out my now frozen claws of hands so I can use my brakes and notice its just me and Andy. Hmm that is weird. The other two roll up with a story about a stick in a derailler. If my brain wasn't so frozen solid this would have raised red flags. Cutler is a derailler killer. Not sure why. But it has a nasty reputation as a ripper of deraillers. I head towards the rooty stuff. Clean the crazy rooted camber. I hear some "noises" behind me and just hope no one has maimed themselves too severely.

I get into the flow once again. Just railing the turns. Get out on the board walk and over to the Island. I assumed everyone was right behind me. I stop to try and get feeling in my hands. And no one is behind me. This is starting to shake out like a bad horror movie. Finally one rider appears. We talk about how cold it is. We wait. And wait. Then head back. At the other end of the board walk we see a lone toe cover. WTF? Has the Yeti devoured Andy and the other dude? Holy crap. So now we are in full back track mode looking for blood trails and any remains. After almost getting all the way back to the main trail I see Andy coming towards us. Looks like the late rider snapped his chain and they went back to the parking lot.

I take them back out to the Island and get in a nice hot lap. Then give them high fives and say my goodbyes. I jet home as fast as I can and eat all the food in the house. I still have a wicked Ice Cream headache. But all in all an awesome day on the bike. Thanks Andy for once again getting me stoked to ride bikes!