Sliding Doors of Fury

My van loves Uri's van. There I said it. Uri tried to keep it all platonic and I respect that but umm my van has a massive crush on those sexy lines and rugged good looks of his van. She keeps saying that that Previa looks like something out of Star Trek. Not that Next Generation bs. OG Captain Kirk ST. And you know how the ladies can't resist a geek. Its impossible. One of my good friends threw a cx race this weekend. They called it Beer Cross. It was "up" against a big UCI race that some people call the "season opener" Umm yeah in case anyone has been napping this would be race #4 this cx season. Don't need the rainbow handcuffs to tell me its cx season. All I need to know its cross season is that my lungs are on FIRE, I am riding over dudes who crash in front of me ten times a frickin lap on GRASS, and the cupcakes....oh the cupcakes. But I digress. So back to Beer Cross held at the Blandford Ski Area. So while a bunch of people were chasing UCI points in VT we were riding an evil hybrid of Sterling, Loon (ohhh how I miss Loon...who wants to go back I do. 2013?), and Lowell. Does that make sense? Probably not. When you race on a ski hill you know what you are gonna get. And some of it is pure gold. You want euro chutes? Who doesn't right? I know I do. Ski hills have euro chutes. In spades. But there is going to be some elevation. Cross racers hate elevation. And lots and lots of grass. Before today I had no idea grass could be so slippery. I still don't but a legion of Cat 3/4 men proved it is in fact really slippery. Did I mention it was dry? Yeah like hay. Bone f'n dry. So I have been doing this race with the young guys thing. Cause I love my teammates. Like LOVE them. So as I staged up on a bridge and looked at our 8 wide group and the 4 wide gap we were going to have to ride into. I got a tad nervous. Not old man nervous but more concerned. I mean you couldn't smell the fear off me. But I was thinking stay in the middle. The sides are where the really bad things will happen. So I did that. And I didn't die. There was a time I was sure I would die. But I was pleasantly surprised when no one crashed and took 20 of us down on gravel. I survive the scrum and then notice a pattern. Come to a turn. Dude crashes in front of me. Get around the body. Come to a turn. Dude crashes in front of me. After the 10th go of this I am like FUCK THIS. Someone's gotta pay. So I ride over his back and step on his wheel. Like Mark The Shark would do. Not step off but step on that wheel. Cause people need to start paying for this crappy bike driving. Ok, maybe that is not what happened. Finally I was so close to rider Xs wheel that I had zero options. And unlike at DH40 where I surfed over Bob's wheel I actually got stuck on this dudes spine. I wonder if he has skid marks up his back? One can only hope so.

After that it was a bit demoralizing. Albeit rad. Did I mention the spiral of death? Right next to a beer tent? And the runnup? And the chutes? Did I mention how rad Matt Lolli is? Dude ran a full on metal jacket ss in the 3/4 and crushed souls. He came by me like a freight train! SSCX is not an equipment choice. Get over it. Ok so at some point Uri caught me. Thank you baby cheez its. I was suffering badly. Wanted to puke so many times. But in a good way. Then Uri comes through and throws me a life line. I was so cracked he was talking me through sections. Ok I may have shoved my shifter into his hip at one point. But it was only in a gesture of brotherhood. We were getting sandwiched by another member of TEAM DIVINE WIND and I sensed this dude was gonna take us out. So I stuck my shifter in Uri's butt and said we gotta go man. And Uri went.

We got around said human wrecking ball of mass destruction and went to work chopping wood. I have no idea how far back we were at this point after being crashed out so many times we lost count. But it was pretty much the best three laps of my cx career riding with Uri. For real. Love that man. And he has some mad skills. After finishing up and talking story we went to watch the women stage up. They are so rad. They inspire me so much its not even funny. And my good friend Meg. God I love that woman. She really is like a sister from another mother to me. She keeps me at center. I know that is my inner dirty hippy talking. But ever time I am around her I just feel grounded. And she went full blanco. And rode like 20 women. She had a great race. And watching her and Carrie together just got me so stoked. Meg is a teacher by trade but she is also a teacher if you get my drift. So rad. I know I have said this a million times but I love the Noho CX mafia. They are like my extended family.

After our race Jon and I sat at the top of the runup and cheered on all the ladies. It was amazing. I am a superfan. Obviously. But they brought it. Blandford Beer Cross was awesome. Please, please, please let's make this an annual thing. I love Alan Atwood and what he does with GMCX but we need grassroots racing to be there for those who can't drive 4 hours for a 45 minute bike race. For the record we logged into crossresults.com to get the live results from GMCX. Cause we love CX.