Monday, April 5, 2010

Strip Poker Mtn Biking

The title of this post was so close to being called fatter is better. Or maybe Meaty, Beaty Big and Bouncy...I have been living fat all winter long...not that kinda fat although I am by no means svelte. I have accepted my body type I am never going to be svelte just the way it is. I'm talking rubber. 25c fatties. And 2.2 fatties. David Wilcox is kind of responsible for this new big rubber love of mine. I did a ride with him over the winter and he had 2.4 racing ralphs on his bike. I had nokkians with 295 carbide studs. It was icy as hell and David rode everything. Literally. Didn't crash once. After that ride I vowed to ride fatter tires once the snow melted. Skinny tires do not make you faster. They only make the ride harsher and I guess that feeling of getting knocked about makes you feel faster cause you are out of control all the time. Speed should be smooth and flow like water not be skittering all over the tarmac.

I have been running 25s conti 4-seasons for 3 months now and have been loving them. I am on the hunt for some white 25c 4000s if anyone knows where to get some please, please, please hook me up. Not asking for free I'll pay just haven't seen them anywhere. Also a set of challenge 25s in white might be pretty sick as well. But back to the dirt. The 2.2 Schwalbe's have been awesome! I am trying a newer model called the rocket ron. I know the names are pretty lame but its a name whatevah. The lowdown is they are sweet. Much better than the Nobby Nics. They hook up real well in the wet and seem to offer pretty good traction in a lot of terrain. I have been crashing a bunch but its because I am riding with riders who are so much better than me and I am trying to keep up. But they just flow so nice. And they are fast. Even on the pavement I have been very impressed by how they roll. Racing on these should be interesting...Oh crap racing. I almost forgot I am racing again very soon...maybe a few more weeks of goofing off 'kaye?

But back to today's ride and the title of this mash up post. It was gorgeous. Like almost 80s I think I have a sunburn on my head gorgeous. I haven't been without knee or arm warmers since Sterling. So four months. I left the house with all on. At ten minutes I took of the arm warmers. At twenty minutes I took off the knee warmers. When I took the knee warmers off I felt naked. Seriously. It was the weirdest feeling. As I was stuffing them in my jersey pocket I spied a little movement in the trees. Three white tailed deers were still as statues staring at me. Once they realized I wasn't a threat they just moved about their business eating twigs and such. Beautiful creatures and just one more reason why the woods f'n rock. I love the road but give me a break how can you even compare the two. Going in the woods is like stepping on Hallowed ground. If you listen and take the time to look around you it becomes a religious experience.

Ok so once I came off this tree hugging moment and looked down at my legs I almost vomited! Who put that disgusting hair shirt on my nice legs? wtf? Oh crap I need some manscaping. Funny how you just don't notice these things under the leg warmers. Well I promise myself and all my biker friends this will be dealt with this week. I don't want anyone else puking if they have to see this madness. The ride went on fairly nicely. I did some hotlaps on the short track course out at the island. Tested the seals on my rock shox...oh man I was headset deep in that little dip. So yeah the flooding hasn't really receded. That's the bad news. The good news? Riding a bike through 3 feet of standing water is actually pretty damn fun. It is like a playground out there right now. Very little trail damage things are either under three feet of it or they are dry.

Made it home barely in time to get out of my kit wash the mud out of my eyes and off my face throw on some jeans and run to Syd's school to pick her up. As I was standing in line waiting for her to come out of class it hit me what do these mom's do with their time? Seriously? Is it wrong that I am out riding? Maybe. Probably I should be home cleaning the bathrooms or paying bills. But the bathrooms can wait for a rainy day and the bills? They'll get paid. Eventually.


  1. It's a name, whatevah.............Those tires were named after me.!!!!!!!!!

  2. Damn why didn't I think of that!!! Hell yeah those tires are now and forever my faves because they have your name on em! They are never coming off the bike! And you are the OG rocket ron no doubt! You have got to teach me some ninja skillz on this damn mtn bike before I kill myself. Seriously. When is my first jedi lesson? Soon I hope.

  3. I shave my legs almost every week, all winter long, just to avoid the shock of looking down and seeing the Wookie-legs in the spring. That, and when you're as hairy as I am, that first shave is a nightmare otherwise.

    We got wet today, you woulda loved the ride.