Thursday, November 29, 2012
I forget who coined CXMAS. I think it was Matt or Mo. But I think my cx mom and dad might hate that term at this point. Regardless...did you sense my masshole accent with that word? Regardless is so Townie if you say it just right. CXMAS to me is a bunch of things. Its that feeling when you get a new frame and it just gets you so pumped on CX. Focus bikes have been having that effect on the JAM kids. Actually let's talk about the JAM kids for a sec. Is there a more jacked up team than those kids? I mean they are the most stoked team of riders I have ever seen in my life. They get me going I will say that. You just can't not help but get infected by their relentless enthusiasm for all things cross. They are the antithesis of the sponsored to the gills Cat 3 or masters rider. They ride clinchers half the time for god sake. Ok back to CXMAS. This year I am rolling out a little Santa's helper list. We are using Santa and CXMAS in a non-denominational manner. We all know those pesky Christians coopted all this cool Christmas stuff from Pagan's who were way more into smashing Ice Trolls with hammers than some tiny baby in a desert. Right? You with me so far?
So for me this CXMAS list will include those who stepped up and showed CX the love. I am not sure if I am on the naughty or nice list. I guess it depends on who you ask. I ride with passion. Its not always going to be nice...With no further ado here we go.
On the First day of CXMAS my true love gave to me....7 pounds of coffeets. Anoncx or NOTTHEWOLVERINE is rad. So rad. I am not outing him here. I have my suspicions of who he is. Ok I know who he is but I am not saying. Order some of his special coffeets.
On the Second Day of CXMAS my true love gave to me one jar of Euro PRO chammy cream and a brown Mad Alchemy Hoody. Pete is an NECX icon. He started his brand in his kitchen with the help of his wife. They are amazing. He has taken embro and made it a household word. And he is one of us. He shows the CX community so much love its not even funny. Nothing says I love you like a nice jar of Mad Alchemy in the stocking. And its the perfect gift for the winter cyclist. A little dab of coffee embro on the lower back makes even the coldest ride bearable.
On the Third Day of CXMAS my true love gave to me a pimped out gold Zanconato singlespeed cx bike to smash Ice Weasels. And by smash Ice Weasels I mean drink all the beer handups and chop 17 yr olds wheels before they can pip me at the line for 57th place. I will raise my arms in the most epic victory salute humanity has ever seen.
On the Fourth day of CXMAS my true love gave to me 42 cases of beer. High & Mighty beer. In fact that already happened. High & Mighty is the best sponsor ever. Our early season cannonball run to Noho provided all the podium beer for an entire seasons worth of SSCX. Huge Hup hugs to Will and all the cool people at High & Mighty
On the Fifth day of XXXMAS my true love gave to me 4 Chuey hats, 2 Budweiser socks, 1 orange beer coozie and all of the smuttons from All Hail the Black Market. Ok so I have a major mancrush on Stevil and his orange jumpsuit. My dream is to be sponsored by him. But he is such a good friend I can't ask him for things for free cause like me he is funemployed. It all comes out of his pocket. Ie if he gives me free shit he doesn't get $ to buy silly things like food and paying for expensive sex change operations for his cat. He is a good man. Rocks out harder than anyone I know and keeps me from selling out more than I already have. Fill your stocking with all the AHTBM swag you can
On the 666th day of CXMAS my true love gave to me The Walking Dead graphic novel, Game of Thrones season one, and a black light poster of a Unicorn with wings. All kidding aside Newbury Comics not only fields the coolest cx team on the planet they have such an impact on the NECX its hard to imagine how we did this before they came along. They sponsor Quad CX and Night Weasels. They bring the funk to all the races. Love them. Would go to hell and back with those dudes. Go into a NC store. It may save from Mall Hell this holiday season. Trust me I have done just that. Hide. Look at all the cool stuff. Then join your family later.
On the Seventh day of CXMAS my true love gave to me a Hup Woolie from woolistic. Woolistic makes some of the nicest merino wool trainers you have ever seen. The Hup one is a tip to some of the retro team jerseys of the past with a Hup flare. Niels Albert would wear this at the disco before racing Koksijde. True story
On the Eighth day of CXMAS my true love gave to me a full PRO tune up from The Wilcox at Broadway Bicycle School. David is a master. He has glued all my cx tubies the last two seasons. I have never rolled a tire since he started taking care of me. The man has a gift. And BBS is so cool. Pop in and say hi. Buy a t-shirt or sign up for a class.
On the Ninth day of CXMAS my true love bought for me a double cappucino and a cheddar croissant at the Ride Studio Cafe. The RSC has changed the whole culture of cycling in our neck of the woods. Hard to say what it is. Is it a bike shop that serves coffee or a cafe that has bikes? Is it a cycling club house or Haus of Style? It is all of that and more. And there is no better place to start a ride or end a ride than RSC.
On the Tenth day of CXMAS my true love gave to me hugs from ALL of the NECX. Ha see CXMAS isn't all about stuff. Its about love too. So much love in the NECX. If I could find the epicenter of it I think I would have to say its Matt and Mo. They are like my cx mom and dad. How is that possible as I am older than them? Its sort of like a Sensei in the martial arts. Your Sensei can be much younger but they are much more wise. Love those two. They have made me a better person. And filled my heart with much love. Cross and otherwise. But it extends out to all my NECX peeps. Thank you all, you are an amazing wolf pack
On the Eleventh day of CXMAS my true love gave to me a set of BALLER TRP RevoX brakes in neon yellow. Best CXMAS present I have received this season. I look at them on the RL and I smile. Love them. They are badass and have changed everything in my cx riding. #CANSTOPWILLSTOP. And the fact that Adam Myerson stopped on a ride and showed me how to dial them in frickin rocks. How many PRO athletes take the time to show some mid-pack masters racer how to work on their bike? A rider who works for his sponsors 24/7 that is who.
On the Twelfth day of CXMAS my true love gave to me a bike fit with Pedal Power. I wreck myself. Sara fixes me up. I suffer and get hot foot and numb hands and Sara fixes me up. She adds massive watts to all my bikes simply by waving her magic fit wand at my bike. I finally got into PP World Headquarters right as CX season was kicking into gear. My position was ok. But something was not right. I am like a CX Diva with my position. She tweaked and ripped stuff apart. And voila best position I have had on my bike in years. Next up I am giving her my road bike so I can smash all the Strava KOMs this summer. Kidding. Strava KOMs are so 2000 and late. This spring/summer is all about the soul rides on the road bike. Monkey Knife Fight? Yes please.
Ok my fine friends. If you made it this far I thank you. Thanks to all our sponsors and friends who made this cx season so special. Still a lot of cx left to go. Ice Weasels and Beaver CX. Back to back. I could make some dirty joke there but I will leave it to Ryan Kelly. When he says that stuff its cute when I do it just feels dirty...